FADE IN

	EXT. AN IMPOSSIBLE EXPANSE OF MARYLAND FARMLAND - DAY

	The wind rustles the endless field of corn, blows over the 
	freshly mown meadow of soybeans, and magically sways a copse of 
	trees. 
	
	It's a Fall after-noon. A SUDDEN POUNDING OF GALLOPING HOOVES 
	breaks the peace and... A HORSE and RIDER burst between the rows 
	of corn into the meadow.  They are running for their lives.

	CLOSE ON:

	The rider is a bride -- a beautiful woman dressed in a 
	disheveled wedding gown, it's train tattered and flying like a 
	knight's banner out behind her. This is MAGGIE CARPENTER.

	The horse is frothing and wild-eyed, like the bride, who turns 
	to look behind her in terror.  The horse's labored breathing 
	mingles with Maggie's panicked gasps.

	We see a WEDDING BOUQUET fly into a ditch as the horse thunders 
	on.  Maggie clings to the reins.  She looks as though she is 
	running from the devil himself.

	FADE TO BLACK

	EXT. IKE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

	Establishing.

								CUT TO:

	EXT. IKE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT

	EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY

			    IKE (V.O.)
		Hey, Fisher, pick up.  I have some 
		column ideas I want to bounce off you.  
		Not there?  Okay.  Listen I'm thinking 
		of writing about those mind-numbing 
		informercials that are always on.

	Ike walks out of his apartment building talking on cell phone.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		What do you think?  Good idea, right?  
		Boring, down to death, pointless -- It 
		sucks.

	Ike yells at a CONSTRUCTION WORKER.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		If you guys are here any longer, 
		they're gonna make you sign a lease.

			    CONSTRUCTION WORKER
		Your column should be so funny.

	Ike turns and walks down the street, talking into cell phone.

			    IKE
		Okay, I was also thinking I might write 
		about...

	He spots a RICH LADY with tons of diamonds getting out of a 
	Limousine, talking to a CHAUFFEUR.  He goes up to her.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Excuse me.  I was thinking of doing an 
		article on limousines.  What would you 
		say to people who never had a chance to 
		drive in a limo?

	They walk up to her DOORMAN.

			    LADY
		I'm sorry, I don't know any people like 
		that.

	Ike walks off.  They stare at him as he goes.

	EXT. ANOTHER NEW YORK STREET - DAY

	Ike's talking on the phone to his friend's machine again.

			    IKE
			(into phone)
		Fisher?  Come on -- I know you're 
		sitting there laughing at me.  Pick up.  
		I want to run an idea past you.

	Ike continues walking now in the full panic of writer's block. 
	He pleads into his friend's answering machine as he walks.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(into phone)
		I just could use someone to toss it 
		back and forth with for a few minutes, 
		get the juice flowing, help me.  I have 
		an hour and twenty-seven minutes and 
		fifty-two seconds.  Hello?

	He walks away from the t-shirt table towards the bar.  The 
	Vendor calls out to him.

			    T-SHIRT VENDOR
		Hey, Ike, when are you going to put me 
		in an article?

			    IKE
		When your t-shirts stop shrinking.

	Ike enters the bar.  The Woman drops the shirt she was holding 
	and walks off with her children.  The T-shirt Vendor goes back 
	to selling his shirts.

	INT. NEW YORK BAR - LATE DAY

	Ike sits at the bar speaking to an attractive Woman nearby, a 
	MAN puts is USA Today on the bar and addresses the BARTENDER.

			        MAN
		I see photos of a lot of dead writers 
		on these walls.  Got any living ones?  
		I have a story to tell that could win 
		one of them a Pulitzer.
			(then, with enthusiasm)
		Picture this, if you will.  A small 
		town in Maryland, a sleepy little 
		village, within that a hardware store...

	The Man continues speaking as Ike and the woman continue their 
	conversation.

			    WOMAN
		So what's in store for us in tomorrow's 
		column?

			    IKE
		I don't know yet.  I'm kind of a last-
		minute man.  Ideas don't flow until an 
		hour or two before deadline.

	The Woman gets up and begins throwing darts.

			    WOMAN
			(interrupting)
		This is very interesting.  You get your 
		ideas for your column from life.  You 
		start up a conversation with a woman in 
		a bar, attack her choice of reading 
		material, try and get a rise out of her 
		while you contemplate whether or not 
		she's worth hitting on.

			    IKE
		No, I can't hit on you until I get an 
		idea.

	She starts throwing darts.

			    WOMAN
		That's flattering.

			    IKE
		No, you don't understand.

	The Woman goes to her bar stool, gathering her bag and leaves a 
	tip for the Bartender.

			    WOMAN
		I think I do understand.  So my not 
		responding to your baiting me will 
		inspire one of those potential bitter 
		diatribes you love to write about women 
		and all the things we do to drive men 
		crazy?

			    IKE
			(taken aback)
		I don't write bitter diatribes about 
		women... very often.

	She whacks him with a newspaper, then shakes his hand.

			    WOMAN
		Only when the ideas aren't flowing, 
		huh?  Well, it was very nice to meet 
		you, one-minute man.

	The Woman leaves the bar.

			    IKE
			(as she exits)
		That's last minute man.
			(then, louder)
		And it's the quality that counts.

			    BARTENDER
		You know, for a good looking man, you 
		strike out a lot.

			    MAN
		I've seen much worse.

	The phone rings.  Te Bartender answers it as Ike sits back on 
	his bar stool.  Ike grabs the woman's magazine that she left on 
	the bar and starts glancing at it.  The Man at the bar has heard 
	the whole thing.

			    MAN (cont'd)
		I said, I've seen much worse.

	Ike looks at the Man with reservation.  The Man is George 
	Swilling.

			    IKE
		Excuse me?

			    MAN
		The brush-off.

	Ike gets up and moves to the dart board.  He removes the darts.

			    MAN (cont'd)
		I've witnessed far more treacherous and 
		nefarious exits than that.  At least 
		she castigated you in private.

			    IKE
		Not as private as I thought.

	Ike turns slightly, giving the man his back.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Kevin, you've got some napkins?

			    BARTENDER
		Writing or wiping?

			    IKE
		Give me a pen.

	The Bartender gives him cocktail napkins and a pen.  Ike starts 
	making notes.  Ike looks up from his writing.  The Man gets up 
	and starts throwing darts.

			    MAN
			(throwing darts hard)
		Ah, come on.  They deserve it.  They 
		love you, they hate you, they're hot, 
		they're cold, they're high, they're 
		low...

			    IKE
		... They're up, they're down.  It's 
		really fun making this list with you, 
		but I've got a column to go write.

			    BARTENDER
		Ike.

			    MAN
			(undeterred)
		But you don't have a really superb idea!  
		Well, there's a girl from my hometown 
		you could write about.

	Ike moves to the Bartender and pays him.

			    BARTENDER
			(to Man)
		Excuse me, we don't need any new ideas.

			    MAN
		She likes to dump grooms right at the 
		altar.  They call her "The Runaway 
		Bride".

	Both Ike and Bartender turn and stare.

			    MAN
		She performed the travesty seven or 
		eight times.  Right at the altar she 
		turns around and runs like hell.  
		Bolts.

	Ike turns and heads for the door.  The Man calls after him, 
	getting up from his stool without stopping his enthusiastic 
	story.

			    MAN (cont'd)
		Adios.  Plows down the aisle, knocking 
		old ladies out of her way like the 
		running of the bulls at Pamplona.  And 
		guess what?

			    IKE
		I give up.

			    MAN
		She has the next victim all lined up.  
		She's twirling another body on the 
		spit.

	Ike stops in his tracks.  He turns back around in spite of 
	himself.

			    MAN
			(beginning his story)
		Imagine if you will, a small town in 
		Maryland...

							CUT TO:

	INT. IKE'S APARTMENT - DUSK

	Ike sits at his computer, cassette player with Miles Davis PLAYS 
	next to him as he types away reading his handiwork to himself.

			    IKE
			(reading)
		"Today is a day of profound 
		introspection, I have been accused 
		of using this column to direct bitter 
		diatribes at the opposite sex!  This 
		uncomfortable accusation has plunged me 
		into at least fifteen minutes of 
		serious reflection, from which I have 
		emerged with the conclusion that, yes 
		-- I traffic in female stereotypes." 

	EXT. USA TODAY OFFICE - DAY

	FISHER walks through the main office reading the paper.

			    FISHER
		"But how can one blame me when every 
		time I step out my front door I meet 
		fresh proof that the female archetypes 
		are alive and well?  Te mother, the 
		virgin, the whore, the crone; they're 
		elbowing you in the subway, stealing 
		your cabs, and overwhelming you with 
		perfume in elevators."

	INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

	Elaine at her desk reads aloud to herself.

			    ELAINE
		"But perhaps, in fairness to the fairer 
		sex, I do need to broaden my horizon 
		and add some new goddesses to the 
		pantheon: I would like to nominate for 
		deity..."

	Fisher hands a file to Elaine.

			    FISHER
		"... The cheerleader, the coed, and the 
		man-eater, the last of which concerns me 
		most today."

	Fisher leaves and we hold a USA Today sign.

							CUT TO:

	INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY

	The Man comes out of the men's room reading the USA Today, 
	Kevin, the Bartender, stands on the bar reading the same 
	article.

			    MAN
			(reads)
		"To be fair, the man-eater isn't 
		exactly new.  In Ancient Greece, this 
		fearsome female was known as Erinys, 
		the devouring death goddess.  In India, 
		she is Kali, who likes to devour her 
		boyfriend Shiva's entrails while her 
		yoni devour his -- dot dot dot, never 
		mind.  In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed 
		man-eater is called Ragma..."

	Te Man sits at the bar near to the Bartender.

			    BARTENDER
		You noticed these are all countries 
		without cable.
			(then, continues 
			 reading)
		"... And in Hale, Maryland where she 
		helps run the family hardware store.  
		She is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter
		..."
			(mispronounces)
		".... AKA, the Runaway Bride."

							CUT TO:

	EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY

	WORKERS read the above article.

	INT./EXT. BEAUTY PARLOR / HALE, MARYLAND - DAY

	PEGGY and MRS. PRESSMAN exit the parlor and stroll down the 
	street. (lowers her paper and reads.)

			    PEGGY (cont'd)
		"... And in Hale, Maryland where she 
		helps run the family hardware store."
			(to the Women)
		We have to go to Maggie.  Cindy, mind 
		the shop.
			(exits salon; 
			 continues reading)
		"... She is known as Miss Maggie 
		Carpenter, AKA, the Runaway Bride."

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Holy moly.

	The older one, Mrs. Pressman, listens with a pained expression 
	as the younger one, Peggy, continues to read the column aloud.  
	Neither one can believe what they're reading.

			    PEGGY
			(reads)
		"What is unusual about Miss Carpenter 
		is that she likes to dress her men up 
		as grooms before she devours them.  She 
		has already disemboweled six in a row 
		by leaving them at the altar."... I 
		can't ready anymore.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
			(takes paper from 
			 her, reads)
		"And her ritual feast continues as she 
		prepares to make a sacrifice out of the 
		seventh fiance.  So all bets are on and 
		we hope that this boomerang bride isn't 
		honeymooning with Las Vegas odds makers 
		because many predict that this girl is 
		out of there before the race... before 
		the rice hits the ground"
			(then)
		Holy moly.

	Peggy and Mrs. Pressman step into a hardware store.

	INT. HARDWARE STORE - CONTINUOUS

	Peggy and Mrs. Pressman enter, worried.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		You tell Maggie.

			    PEGGY
		No, you tell her.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		No, no.  You're her best friend.

			    PEGGY
		No.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
			(holding her 
			 newspaper)
		You know, it's just possible that she 
		hasn't read this yet.

			    PEGGY
		Yeah.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Maybe she hasn't read the paper...

	On the counter, they see a copy of USA Today opened to the 
	article about Maggie.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN (cont'd)
		... Or not!

	We follow MAGGIE down the back stairs inside The Hale Hardware 
	Store, the prettiest, most welcoming shop of its kind anywhere 
	in small town USA.  Somehow the place ha taken on the spirit of 
	the owner's daughter; both stop and shop-girl radiate brightness, 
	charm, and possibility.  Maggie comes down steps with a faucet 
	handle and goes to an elderly customer, MR. PAXTON.

			    MAGGIE
			(bright)
		Here we go!  One antique hot water 
		handle with the "HOT" still on it, 
		guaranteed to fit any American Standard 
		cast iron tub with a four-inch center 
		made between 1924 and 1938.  In other 
		words, I think you're out of the 
		doghouse with Mrs. Paxton.

			    MR. PAXTON
			(amazed)
		Hallelujah.

			    MAGGIE
		Alright, Mr. Paxton, I'll put it on 
		your account.

	Maggie rounds the bend, another customer, EARL, stands by the 
	paint machine.

			    EARL
		Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
			(walking past customer)
		You don't need an air conditioner, Earl, 
		you just need an attic fan -- There's 
		more in the back.

	Maggie steps behind the front counter of the store and takes the 
	account book out.  Her voice trails off as she sees the dour 
	expression on the faces of her friends.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		What?

	Peggy nervously mentions the newspaper.

			    PEGGY
			(delicate)
		So -- Mag -- you've seen this, huh?

			    MAGGIE
			(serious)
		Yes, I've seen it.  And I have to say 
		it's the rudest and most offensive... 
		joke anybody's ever played on me!

	To their amazement, Maggie starts smiling.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		You guys!  How long did this take you?

	Maggie stays amused.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		Where'd you get this done?
			(laughing)
		You creeps!  I should disinvite you!  
		And why did you say seven times?  This 
		is four.

			    PEGGY
		Uh, Maggie, you told us to bachelorette 
		jokes, so we didn't...

	Maggie looks at the stricken face of her friends.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Holy moly.

	Peggy looks like she is going to cry with sympathy for Maggie.  
	Maggie is starting to feel uncomfortable.  She looks down, 
	dubiously, at the paper.

			    MAGGIE
		Um, you know, now would be a good 
		moment to tell me this is fake.
			(no response)
		It won't be funny if you drag it out.  
		Okay?
			(no response)
		Okay, well... I mean, I can find out... 
		Real newspapers smear.  Phoney papers 
		don't.

	She picks up the paper and brushes it against her apron, leaving 
	an INK SMEAR!!

	She nearly kneels over.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
			(sitting)
		Bag.

	Peggy and Mrs. Pressman immediately spring to her side.  They 
	give her a bag to breathe in.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Bag.

							CUT TO:

	INT. MAGGIE'S WORKOUT ROOM/GYM - NIGHT

	We see Maggie kickboxing in anger.  The radio is on.  She 
	suddenly stops, yanks Ike's article off the wall, leaves her 
	workout area and goes to her desk.

	ANGLE ON DESK AREA:

	She turns off the radio and begins to type her letter.

			    MAGGIE (V.O.)
			"Dear Editor..."

	EXT. MANHATTAN - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT

	As Maggie's VOICE-OVER continues to read her letter, we take in 
	a Manhattan busy day.  It is big, loud, and anonymous.

			    MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)
		"Greeting from the sticks!  Perhaps you 
		believe that a rural education is 
		focused mainly on hog calling and 
		tractor maintenance rather than reading.  
		Why else would you print a piece of 
		fiction about me and call it fact?"

	Te CAMERA FINDS Ike, striding across a busy street, dodging 
	taxies.  A WOMAN smacks him with a newspaper.  He passes a WOMAN 
	TRAFFIC OFFICER, then a hot dog stand.  He greets and passes a 
	FALAFEL VENDOR.  THE CAMERA PANS to a USA Today Truck.

			    MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)
		"I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy 
		thinking us slanderous statements about 
		how I dump men for kicks to bother with 
		something silly like accuracy in 
		reporting.  Which is understandable, 
		because with a "man-eater" like me on 
		the loose, who has time to check facts?"

	EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONTINUOUS

	He passes regular GUYS who cheer him.

			    MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)
		"Still, we cannibalistic queens can get 
		pretty cranky when we see things in 
		print that hurt our feelings, like that 
		we deliberately abandon fiances with 
		malice aforethought."

	INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONTINUOUS

	He enters the newspaper building, going to Ellie's office.

	INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

	He walks through the crowded city room.  His arrival attracts a 
	lot of attention from his CO-WORKERS.  Ike seems a little 
	surprised, but he's pleased.

			    MAGGIE (V.O.; cont'd)
		"That's why I was surprised to find Mr. 
		Graham's editor was a woman. Call me a 
		sentimental fool, but I sort of hoped 
		we man-eater could stick together."

	Ike works his way down the hall to the editor's office.  CHUFFA 
	Ike greets various workers.  He steps up to the editor's 
	secretary, ELAINE.  She doesn't smile.

			    IKE
			(to Elaine)
		I'll put in a good word for you.

			    ELAINE
		No, no, don't mention my name in there.

			    IKE
		Why?

	A buzz.

			    ELAINE
		You can go in now.

	Ike goes into Ellie's office.  Elaine picks up her phone.

							CUT TO:

	INT. ELLIE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

	ELLIE is that editor.  Stylish and successful looking, she's 
	about Ike's age.  Ellie sits behind a big desk with a scowl on 
	her pretty face.  Her casual-looking husband, Fisher, sits 
	nonchalantly on the arm of the couch.  Ike enters as Ellie reads 
	Maggie's letter.

			    ELLIE
			(reading letter)
		"Anyway, I'm just dropping you big city 
		folk this little note to say that I have 
		thought of a ritual sacrifice that would 
		satisfy my current appetite: Ike 
		Graham's column on a platter.  Yours 
		truly, Maggie Carpenter.  P.S. -- I 
		have inclosed a list of the gross 
		factual misrepresentations in your 
		article.  There are fifteen."

	Ike sits as Ellie puts the letter down and takes off her glasses.

			    IKE
			(chuckles as he sits)
		Fully.  I like her.  She has wit.

			    ELLIE
		I left four messages.  You don't return 
		my calls.

			    IKE
		So?  I never returned your calls, even 
		when we were married.  And what's 
		Fisher doing here anyway?

	Fisher gets and places a photo of the cat on a bookshelf on his 
	way to the other side of the room.

			    FISHER
		Ellie asked me to come down to offer 
		moral support.

			    IKE
		Since when does Ellie need moral supp--

			    ELLIE
		-- It's for you, Ike.

			    IKE
		What?

			    ELLIE
		Journalism lesson number one.  If you 
		fabricate your facts, you get fired.

	Ellie pushes USA Today lawyer's letter across the desk for him 
	to read.  Ike picks it up and skims the letter.  His face is as 
	impassive as stone.

			    IKE
		Lesson number two.  Never work for your 
		former spouse.

			    ELLIE
		That's not nothing to do with it.  You 
		cooked this story up and you know it.

			    IKE
		I didn't cook up a story.  I had a 
		source.

			    ELLIE
		Someone reliable, I'm sure.  A booze-
		hound in a bar?

			    FISHER
		In vino veritas.

			    IKE
		Don't knock drunk guys in bars.  Drunk 
		guys in bars are good.  It means 
		they're not driving.

	Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making his point.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Besides, I'm a columnist.  This is what 
		columnists are supposed to do.  This is 
		what you like.  We push, we stretch, we 
		go out on a limo.  That's what makes me 
		good!

			    ELLIE
		No, that's what makes you unemployed.

			    IKE
		I merely write the stuff.  You're the 
		one that serves it up.

	Ike puts down the letter and puts his glasses back into his 
	pocket.

			    ELLIE
		Not anymore.  I have to draw the line.
			(pushing a piece 
			 of paper)
		She sent us this list.  Our lawyers say 
		it's actionable.

	Ellie hands Ike Maggie's list.

			    IKE
			(scoffs)
		Lawyers.
			(glances at list)
		I don't know, Ellie -- Firing me is 
		going to be very tough on you.  It's 
		going to be hard to get over.  There 
		will be therapy bills for you.

			    ELLIE
			(shrugs)
		I already made an appointment for later 
		today.

			    IKE
			(putting the list 
			 down, standing)
		See?  You want custody of my job? ... 
		Why not just consider my wrist slapped 
		and call me when you feel I've served 
		my time?

			    ELLIE
		I'm sorry, Ike.  This is permanent.

	Fisher winces and looks away.  Ike and Ellie look at each other 
	for a sober moment.

			    ELLIE (V.O.; cont'd)
		If you go quietly, I'll get you 
		severance pay.

	Ellie fidgets with her toy rake, then Ike heads for the door.  
	He laughs a little at the painful truth of her words and walks 
	out.  Ellie collapses back in her chair.  Fisher goes to her and 
	rubs her shoulders.

	EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY

	Ike rides sadly on the back of a forklift, gets off and walks 
	out.

	EXT. HALE RESIDENTIAL STREET - ANOTHER MORNING

	ANGLE ON MAGGIE'S HOUSE:

	A train goes by.  A modest clapboard house with a porch.  Two 
	entrances.  A PAPERBOY tosses a paper onto the lawn in front of 
	the house.  The front door opens and Maggie appears fresh out of 
	bed, wearing only a jacket and panties.  Heedless of being seen 
	this way, she scampers out to the sidewalk to pick up her 
	delivered paper:  USA Today.  She tears off the plastic bag and 
	rips into it, looking for her letter.  She finds it.  A smile on 
	her face, then she scampers back into the house.

	INT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - THAT MOMENT

	Maggie skips back into her house which she shares with Father 
	and Grandma.  A cozy and eclectic place creatively furnished on 
	a shoe-string.  She rushes into:  KITCHEN WHERE BOB KELLY, 
	fiance #4, is packing cans into a backpack.  Bob, 38, has a 
	pleasant face and a body that is almost shockingly buff.  He's 
	wearing a T-shirt that reads: "Mountaineers Do It Against the 
	Wall.", Maggie dances over, waving the paper and singing.

			    MAGGIE
		She canned him, she canned him...

	Bob test the weight of the backpack adding dehydrate food.

			    BOB
		Come here, Mag, and try this on.

	Maggie puts the paper on the kitchen counter and starts to read 
	aloud, paying no mind to Bob, who is sticking her arms through 
	the straps of the backpack.

			    MAGGIE
		Listen: "Dear Ms. Carpenter, I 
		apologize to you for this unfortunate 
		matter.  Ike Graham's column will no 
		longer be appearing in this paper.  
		Best of luck in you upcoming marriage!"

	Bob continues to hold up the weight of the backpack as he straps 
	it onto Maggie's shoulders.

			    BOB
		That-a-girl!  You sacked him.
			(checking pack)
		This is the weight of the pack you're 
		going to have to carry in the Himalayas. 
		Tell me if it's too heavy.

	Bob lets go and Maggie FALLS BACKWARD, disappearing behind the 
	counter, and hitting the floor, with a THUD.  Bob looks down at 
	her.  Maggie's voice rises from the floor behind the counter.

			    MAGGIE (o.s.)
		It's a little... It's a little heavy... 
		Help me, baby.

	Bob has no answer.  He reaches a hand down.  He yelps as Maggie 
	pulls him down on top of her, out of frame.  We HEAR them giggle 
	and kiss.

	INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - ANOTHER DAY

	Fisher uses the dock for a photo shoot featuring men and women 
	in evening and formal wear from Escada for G.Q.  Fisher is not 
	actually shooting the camera, but rather supervising it.  
	Fisher claps his hands and calls the models to attention.  Then 
	he goes onto the stage and sets the models in their positions.

			    FISHER (cont'd)
		Remember, we are putting the "fun" back 
		into formal.
			(to Ike)
		I just say that for the agency guys.  I 
		don't even know what that means.  Now 
		follow me.

	INT. USA TODAY OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

	Elevator doors open.  Ike and Fisher exit and walk towards the 
	coffee table.

			    FISHER
		Ike, I really liked the Runaway Bride 
		piece, and since I do freelance stuff 
		for G.Q., I'm in a different position 
		now...

			    IKE
		What are you trying to say to me, Fish?

	They stop walking.

			    FISHER
		Vindication.  How would you like to get 
		some?  A chance to prove that, though 
		your facts weren't entirely straight, 
		your theory was correct.

			    IKE
			(hiding his hope)
		The real story on Miss Carpenter.

			    FISHER
		All the gory details.

	They start walking again.

			    IKE
			(excited)
		The anatomy of the black widow spider 
		of Maryland.

			    FISHER
		It wouldn't be a bad way to get you 
		back into writing feature pieces 
		again.

			    IKE
			(enthusiastically)
		This is good.  It is a good story, 
		Fish.

	They stop at the coffee table and grab something to eat.

			    FISHER
			(nods)
		If she runs, then it's a cover story.  
		All true.  All accurate.

			    IKE
			(confesses)
		Okay, you were right.  I hated my 
		column, but I can do this assignment.

			    FISHER
		Then you've got it.  If you leave 
		tomorrow for the hinterlands, you'll 
		have plenty of time before her next 
		wedding trot.

			    IKE
		"Paid vindication"  That's what I call 
		justice.

			    FISHER
		Justice, yes.  Paid, I don't know.  
		They like the idea, but my hands are 
		tied with budget restraints.

			    IKE
		But I'll get my normal fee, right?

	He walks away.

			    IKE
		You want me to do it on spec?!

	He follows him.

							CUT TO:

	EXT. MARYLAND HIGHWAY - DAY

	We see Ike driving down the highway.  The car sputters a little 
	as he and Fisher continue their conversation in voice-over. (If 
	needed by the editor.)

			    FISHER (V.O.)
		Don't say "spec" like it's a dirty word.  
		Nobody ever paid Shakespeare to write a 
		play!  Plato never got a book advance...

			    IKE (V.O.)
		Oh yeah!  I happen to know from 
		reliable sources that Nietzche got 
		expenses and a rental car.

	We hear Fisher laugh.

			    IKE (V.O.; cont'd)
		I'm going to make this work, Fish.  I'm 
		going to do it!

	Ike's car drives into Hale, passing a billboard reading, 
	"Welcome to Hale."

							CUT TO:

	EXT. HALE STREET - DAY

	Ike drives down picturesque Main Street.  He passes Hale 
	Hardware.  Sign says: "At Curl.  Be back soon."

	EXT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY

	A BARBERSHOP QUARTET is singing in front of the only hotel in 
	town.  Ike pulls up and goes inside.

	INT. LOBBY/ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY

	Ike has checked into the Atlantic Hotel.  The clerk, LEE, hands 
	him his key.  Ike asks about room service and the restaurant.  
	An OLDER WOMAN asks him if he plays bridge as he goes up the 
	stairs to his room.

	EXT. HALE MAIN STREET - DAY

	Ike exits his hotel as the Barber Shop Quartet finishes singing 
	"Camptown Races."

	He now walks down the charming main artery of the town, looking 
	exactly like what he is:  a cynical New York out of his element 
	on sunny Main Street, USA.  KIDS ride by on bikes, streaming 
	balloons behind them.  A balloon hits Ike on the face.  As he 
	crosses the street, he mutters into his tape recorder:

			    IKE
		I think I'm in Maryberry.

	Flags hang on all the storefronts and the place sparkles with 
	wholesome attitudes as PEOPLE greet each other familiarly.  Ike 
	comes to beauty parlor called "Curl Up and Dye".  The place is 
	doing business and crowded with WOMEN.

	INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY

	Cindy, the manicurist, does Mrs. Pressman's nails.  Maggie sits 
	on the floor next to Peggy's salon chair, fixing the base of a 
	barber chair.  She tightens a screw and looks up, satisfied.  
	Cindy's dog is on the floor near Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
		Cindy, you better 86 Sprout.  He seems 
		to be enjoying the petroleum 
		distillates.

	Cindy rolls over in her chair, picks up her dog and rolls back 
	to her station.

			    CINDY
		That's it.  Back to obedience school.

			    MAGGIE
			(to Peggy)
		Okay -- have a seat... gently, 
		carefully.

	Peggy sits in the chair.  Maggie spins her around and around.

			    PEGGY
			(delighted as 
			 she spins)
		You're a goddess!

			    MAGGIE
		I didn't even need to change this 
		gasket, just put in a little hydraulic 
		fluid.

			    PEGGY
		Stop it.  When you talk like that, I 
		get turned on and it frightens me.

	JUST THEN.  Ike enters the salon, taking off his sunglasses.  
	Peggy hops off the chair.

			    IKE
		Hello.  I'm looking for Maggie 
		Carpenter.  There was a sign at the 
		hardware store across the street...

			    PEGGY
		Are you a reporter?

	It's a little early in the game for Ike to be thrown off guard.

			    IKE
			(shocked)
		What?

			    PEGGY
			(eyeing his loafers)
		It's been our experience that anyone 
		with some sort of gewgaw on his loafers 
		ends up being another big city reporter 
		wanting to interview Maggie.

			    IKE
		About her upcoming wedding and all.

			    PEGGY
		No, about her getting that asshole from 
		New York fired.

	Ike smiles down at his loafers and shrugs.

			    IKE
		I am just such a reporter.  And you are?

			    PEGGY
		Peggy Phleming.  Not the ice skater.

	Peggy steps aside.  Ike moves toward Cindy and Mrs. Pressman.

			    IKE
		And who are these lovely ladies?

	Te ladies shake his hand and introduce themselves.

			    CINDY
		Cindy.  Maggie's unmarried cousin.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Mrs. Pressman.  No relation.

			    PEGGY
		And you are?

			    IKE
			(turning toward her)
		Looking for Maggie.

			    PEGGY
		Yep.  Maggie -- Someone to see you.

	Maggie looks over from her sitting position on the floor.  She 
	gives Ike the once-over, focusing on the shoes.

			    MAGGIE
			(yelling to Peggy)
		Reporter?

			    PEGGY
		Yup!

	Ike crouches to see Maggie on the floor just as she rises to her 
	feet.  Ike straightens up.  For a moment, he is thrown by her 
	beauty and intelligent eyes.

			    MAGGIE
		I hope you have a different angle.  
		It's pretty much all been covered.

			    IKE
		Originality is my speciality.

			    MAGGIE
		Excellent.

			    PEGGY
		Hold on -- Nobody interviews Maggie in 
		here unless they're getting haircut.

			    MAGGIE
		She's the boss.

			    IKE
		Sorry, no.  I just got one.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
			(to Ike)
		Excuse me, sir.  I have an actual fact 
		for you.

			    IKE
			(steps to Mrs. Pressman)
		Yes, Mrs. Pressman.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		It's her fourth time to the altar, you 
		know.  Not seven like they said.

			    IKE
		I know.  Tell me something.  Do you 
		think she's going to make it all the 
		way this time?

	During the Ike/Mrs. Pressman exchange, Maggie looks at Ike.  
	There's something familiar about him.  She looks over at Peggy 
	and beckons her to a copy of Ike's column affixed to a mirror.  
	A goatee and horns, have been scrawled on Ike's byline picture.  
	He's been "devilized".  Peggy coughs as she recognizes Ike in 
	the newspaper clipping.

			    MAGGIE
		She swallowed her gun.

	Mrs. Pressman continues her story to Ike.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		I'm not sure.  Mr. Schullian runs the 
		newsstand, he's our local bookie, you 
		know, he's giving eight to one odds she 
		won't.  He says she's so famous now, 
		maybe Vegas will give odds on her.  I'm 
		going to wait to hear what the pros say.

			    IKE
		Good fact.  Well, you let me know.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Oh, I will.

	ANGLE ON:

	Maggie indicates column to Peggy.  She looks over at the part of 
	the shop used to wash and dye hair.  There's a sink, stool and a 
	cabinet affixed to the wall above sink, which holds various 
	shampoos and hair dyes.  Maggie gets an idea.  Maggie and Peggy 
	step forward toward Ike.

			    MAGGIE
		Well, instead of a haircut, how about 
		a wash?  You know, get all that city 
		grit out of it.

			    IKE
		You'll answer my questions?

	Maggie nods affirmatively.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(removing his jacket)
		Fine.  You wash, I'll ask the 
		questions.

			    PEGGY
		Great.

	Ike hands Peggy his jacket.  A mystified Peggy leads Ike to the 
	sink.  While she does this...

			    MAGGIE
		Have a seat.  Peggy, why don't you give 
		him the special treatment that 
		strengthens the follicles.

	Ike sits in the chair near the sink.  Maggie shakes out a smock 
	and puts it around Ike.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		So, what do you want to know?

	Ike leans and rests his head on the sink.  Peggy bends over him 
	and wets his hair.  She grabs various hair coloring products.

			    IKE
		Getting nervous?

			    MAGGIE
		Nervous?  Not at all!  No.  I've never 
		been more certain in my life.  Except 
		-- I am having all kinds of weird 
		dreams.

	Ike pulls the cloth down from over his face.

			    IKE
		Weird dreams?  You're going to tell me 
		about them?

			    MAGGIE
		Yes.

			    PEGGY
			(calming)
		Let's just put this back here for the 
		aromatherapy.

	Peggy recovers his face, then continues to fuss with the hair 
	coloring products.  Maggie helps.

	INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - LATER

	Ike sits with a towel over his head as Peggy blow-dries the back 
	of his head.  His back is to the mirror, his body faces Maggie.  
	Cindy does her own nails as Mrs. Pressman scratches off lottery 
	tickets.  The dog, Sprout, sits in is basket.

			    MAGGIE
		In another one...

	PETE, wearing a hat, comes in the front door of the salon.

			    PEGGY
		Hey, Pete, I'll be right with you.

	Ike peeks out from under his towel as Maggie continues.

			    MAGGIE
		I'm inside the church.  Everyone I know 
		is there, only they're not really them.  
		They're like Frankenstein monsters, but 
		without the bolts coming out of their 
		necks.  It's all very "Night of the 
		Living Dead".  And here's the creepiest 
		part -- I look down at my dress and 
		it's red.  I mean, I have no idea what 
		it means.  Red's not my color!

	Ike listens intently and stares steadily into her eyes.  Peggy 
	removes the towel.  His hair is divided into equal parts and 
	dyed orange and red.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		So what do you think?

	Ike stares back at her, the tickle of suspicion creeping up his 
	spine.

			    IKE
		I think you'd look good in red.

			    PEGGY
		No, she's talking about your hair.

	Maggie swivels his chair so that Ike faces the mirror.  Ike 
	looks at his brightly colored hair.

			    MAGGIE
		You're all ready for football season, 
		Mr. Graham.

	Ike stares at his hair in total confusion.  With icy calm, Ike 
	rises from his chair and primps the end of his hair as if giving 
	it the finishing touches.  Then he sees his defaced newspaper 
	clipping and all becomes clear.  He picks up the article and 
	shows it to everyone.  Ike does a slow burn.

			    IKE
		Yes, I think I nailed the personality 
		profile of the women of Hale.

	Ike turns and puts the clipping up on the mirror.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(to Peggy)
		My jacket, please.

	Peggy hands him his jacket.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(sarcastically)
		Thank you.

	Ike moves toward the door.  He spots Pete.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(putting on jacket; 
			 to Pete)
		Excuse me, Pete, do you know a place 
		that sells shampoo... Strong shampoo?

			PETE
		Doc's Pharmacy.  Third and Elm.  Tell 
		him Pete sent you.  Want my hat?

			    IKE
		No thanks.

	Ike smiles at Maggie and exits.

			    MAGGIE
			(to Peggy)
		He seems crabby.

							CUT TO:

	EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY

	In front of beauty salon, Maggie follows Ike out.

			    MAGGIE
		If you're looking for Elm Street, it's 
		that way.

	She puts on her sunglasses.

			    IKE
		Thank you.

	He walks the other way.

			    MAGGIE
		If you came down here in the pursuit of 
		happiness, you might as well go back.  
		Because you can't make me feel bad.

	She stops walking and turns to Ike.

			    IKE
		I'm not here to make you feel bad.  I'm 
		here for vindication.  In my heart...

			    MAGGIE
		You have one?

	Ike walks back to Maggie.

			    IKE
		I feel I'm right about you.  You got me 
		fired, lady.  You destroyed my 
		reputation and you screwed up my hair.  
		You chew men up, spit them out and 
		loved it.  And I'm down here to satisfy 
		myself on that point.

	PASSERSBY stare at Ike's hair and giggle.

			    MAGGIE
		Did something happen to make you care 
		about reality?

			    IKE
		Yes.  Conviction.  Conviction that I'm 
		onto the truth.  You're going to do the 
		same thing to "poor bastard number four" 
		that you did to the last three.  You're 
		going to run again.  And I'm not 
		leaving until you do.

			    MAGGIE
		You're going to be very disappointed.

			    IKE
		We'll see.

			    MAGGIE
		I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got 
		to get back to work.  I still have my 
		job.

	He stares at her for a beat, stung by her words.

			    MAGGIE
		I have nothing to hide, Mr. Graham.  
		Talk to whoever you want.  You might 
		actually stumble upon a fact or two.

	Maggie walks away.  Ike walks a few steps and stops at a KID on 
	a bike.

			    IKE
		Hey, kid, I'll give you ten bucks for 
		your hat.

	Kid agrees.  Ike puts the hat on and starts to cross the street.  
	An OLD WOMAN walks by and hits him with a newspaper.  Ike is 
	stunned.

	EXT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - DUSK

	Maggie pulls into the driveway in her truck.  She's in a fine 
	mood as she walks right in the house.

	INT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - DUSK

	Bob, Walter, and Maggie's GRANDMOTHER JULIA sit in the living 
	room.  Grandma is sewing one of Maggie's wedding veils.  Walter 
	drinks wine, Ike wears a hat.

			    WALTER
		You know, when I only see one dog, I 
		know I've had too much to drink.

	Te family dog, Skipper, sits near a ceramic dog table.  Maggie 
	smiles as she walks in the front door and puts down her tool box 
	and bag.

			    MAGGIE
		You'll never guess who came crawling 
		into town with his tail between his 
		legs.

			    IKE (o.s.)
		Who?

	Maggie enters the parlor to see Ike smiling evilly from his seat 
	on the couch.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(innocently)
		Hello, Maggie.  I just came by to 
		apologize to your family.
			(looks to Walter)
		When I'm wrong, I'm wrong.  I pushed a 
		story.  I made a mistake.

			    WALTER
		In other words -- he's only human.  An 
		he brought us a bottle of wine.

	Raises the bottle to Maggie.

			    IKE
		They made me put my hat back on.

			    WALTER
		Oh, yeah.  Scared the hell out of 
		Skipper.

			    MAGGIE
		You've got to be kidding me.

	Maggie stares at them both.

			    BOB
			(enjoying the moment)
		No, no, you should have seen Skipper.
			(then, imitates 
			 growling)
		It wasn't that funny.

	Maggie gives him a look that says, "You are not absolved."  She 
	smiles stiffly, looking back at Ike.  She then sits on the arm 
	of Bob's chair and puts her arm on his shoulder.

			    MAGGIE
		So, the forces of good and evil have 
		already met.

	Maggie takes the wine bottle from the table next to Walter.  She 
	snaps a look to Bob, who follows her.

			    BOB
		I'll help you take into the kitchen.

			    GRANDMA JULIA
		Check on the crabs, Bob.

	We overhear them murmuring in annoyed tones about the wedding 
	plans as they exit... Walter puts down his drink.

			    IKE
		Gee, I hope they don't have a fight out 
		there.  You don't think they'll call it 
		off...?

			    WALTER
		Well, wedding cake freezes.  This we 
		know.

			    IKE
		You know, your daughter seems...

	Ike notices that he's been sewn to the veil.

			    GRANDMA JULIA
		Sorry.

			    IKE
		That's okay, Grandma.

	Grandma cuts the thread and separates the veil from Ike's sleeve.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(continuing his thought)
		... Like such a lovely girl.

	Walter points to a portrait painting on the wall.

			    WALTER
		Like her mother.

			    IKE
			(seeing the portrait)
		Ah, beautiful.
			(gets up to admire 
			 the portrait)
		I just can't see her leaving multiple 
		grooms in the dust like that.

			    GRANDMA JULIA
		Oh, yes, you can.  She's has 'em all on 
		tape.

			    IKE
		She has a tape?

			    WALTER
			(good-natured)
		Yeah.  Lee at the hotel videos wedding.  
		I mean Maggie didn't know she was going 
		to make the hundred-yard dash.

	Walter gestures to a pile of video cassettes on the bookcase.  
	Ike checks on the tapes.

			    IKE
		Dad's fishing trip, Grandma's knee 
		operation, Grandma's birthday...

			    WALTER
		Gotta tell you this about my daughter.  
		My daughter makes real good time, even 
		in a long dress and heels.  Maggie may 
		not be Hale's longest running joke, but 
		she certainly is the fastest.

	Walter cracks up.

			    GRANDMA JULIA
			(sarcastically)
		Ha ha.

	CLOSE ON:  A tape.  It reads: "Maggie I, II, III."  Ike's 
	interest is more than piqued.  Ike picks it up.  They get up and 
	go to the dining room.

							DISSOLVE TO:

	INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

	The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table.  Walter 
	scolds him.  Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike 
	copies him.

			    WALTER (cont'd)
		Emma and I were only blessed with one 
		child, not for lacking of trying.

			    MAGGIE
		This is good, Dad, don't leave anything 
		out.

	Ike's hammer flies out of his hand.  He goes to pick it up.

			    WALTER
		So I've come to see it as a bonus, 
		really, that we've been able to plan, 
		and pay for, so many weddings.

			    MAGGIE
		Not this one.  This one's on me.

	Walter reacts.

			    IKE
		That's fair.

			    MAGGIE
		Despite what you think, I don't do it 
		on purpose.  And I have no intention of 
		doing it again.

			    BOB
		That's right, Maggie.  Just keep your 
		eye on the ball.

	Ike raises his eyebrows in question.  Bob explains.

			    BOB (cont'd)
		Sports psychology.  It was my major in
		college.

			    IKE
		Ahh.

			    BOB
			(false modesty)
		I'm the town's unofficial fitness 
		trainer.  Big advocate of the mind and 
		body combining for success.  You could 
		say or you can quote me, I'm a glass 
		half full king of guy.

			    MAGGIE
			(boasting)
		Bob's the head of the P.E. department 
		at the high school.  And he coaches the 
		football team.  And he's climbed 
		Everest.

	To Maggie's satisfaction, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging 
	respect.  Nobody who's been up Everest is a total clown.

			    IKE
			(impressed)
		Everest.  Is that right?

			    MAGGIE
		Twice...

			    IKE
		Really?

			    MAGGIE
			(sticking it to Ike)
		Without oxygen...

			    BOB
		My girl likes to brag about me.

	Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds.

			    BOB (cont'd)
		I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna on 
		our honeymoon.

	Ike is highly amused.

			    IKE
		How romantic.

			    MAGGIE
			(sharply)
		We think so.

			    IKE
		Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed 
		with two Sherpas and a yak.

	Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look.  He smiles back.

							CUT TO:

	INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S BEDROOM (NYC)

	INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

	Fisher and Ellie are exercising.  Fisher is on a cycle machine.  
	Ellie does yoga stretches.  Ike sits back on the couch, puts on 
	his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing on the TV 
	screen.  Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding."

			    IKE
			(to Fisher; into phone)
		You won't believe what I'm looking at, 
		Fisher.  A videotape of all three train 
		wrecks.

	THE TV - CLOSE

	Two flower girls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the 
	groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar.

	Now we see Maggie come down the aisle, then walk past the altar.  
	We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church.  
	SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs from this 
	first wedding.  She drags the train boy up the second aisle as 
	she leaves.  Ike hangs up.  He gets up to pick up the remote and 
	then sits back down to watch.

	The tape fast-forwards to the next wedding.  Now Ike is looking 
	at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding.  It says, 
	"Gill Chavez Wedding".  He hits the fast-forward button 
	(sometimes slowing down).

	ON TV:

	We see the Carpenter's backyard.  It is Gill and Maggie's 
	wedding day.  The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells 
	Angels-types, Deadheads and townspeople.  The "altar" is a band 
	platform against the back fence.  
	
	Gill is waiting on the platform with a rock combo playing 
	Grateful Dead-type music.  He makes an introductory speech.  
	
	Maggie steps out onto the back porch.  She's beautiful in a 
	hippie-type wedding ensemble.  She walks with her father to a 
	trampoline.  We can see her tattoo.  She jumps on the trampoline, 
	then dives into the crowd.  They watch her and body surf her 
	over their heads to the back fence.  
	
	As she hits the stage, she looks at Peggy and Gill, then decides 
	to go.  She jumps off the stage and runs up to a passing GUY on 
	a dirt bike.  She jumps on and turns and waves as she rides 
	away.  During the video, Ike scribbles: "Gill Chavez".  Maggie 
	goes off on dirt bike.  The tape fast-forwards to the last of 
	Maggie's fiascoes.

	ON IKE'STV

	He now sees the third wedding.  It's outdoors, in a tree lined 
	area, MUSICIANS plays.  Ike laughs as he discovers that Maggie 
	approaches the altar on horseback, in a simple white dress, 
	wearing a crown of flowers.  The Maid Marian look.  Ike slows the 
	tape.

	ON TV:  IT SAYS, "GEORGE SWILLING WEDDING".

	As Maggie rides down the aisle, suddenly the horse whinnies!

	Maggie has kicked it in the shins.  It rears and bolts, 
	galloping off with the bride.  Ike FREEZE FRAMES the tape on an 
	image of Maggie, hair blowing.  Although she is panic-stricken, 
	her soul seems to shine through in tat single frame.  As Ike 
	stares at her, the smirk fades from his face.  He just looks at 
	her, allowing himself to see her expression, her eyes.  He can't 
	help it.

	She gets to him.  Ike gets a restless look on his face.  He 
	stares closely.  The groom is George from the bar.

			    IKE
		Kamikaze!

							CUT TO:

	EXT. TE TROUT BAKERY - THE NEXT DAY

	Establishing.  High angle wide shot of a bakery in Hale.  Ike 
	exits a neighboring shop and walks down the block.  He pauses in 
	front of the bakery to take a look at Maggie's truck.  As he 
	does, a middle-aged Black WOMAN walks by and whacks him with a 
	newspaper.  Ike is stunned as she walks off.  He turns to a MAN 
	sitting on a bench.

			    IKE
		Did you see that?

							CUT TO:

	INT. THE TROUT BAKERY - CONTINUOUS

	CLOSE ON a group of plastic grooms and brides on a counter top.

	MRS. TROUT is behind the counter helping Maggie with a selection 
	of grooms for her wedding cake.  The groom figures are spread out 
	on the counter.  All sizes and colors, some attached to brides, 
	some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets.

			    MRS. TROUT
		This one's very popular, but oh, you've 
		used this one before... Brian.  But I 
		like the white dinner jacket.

			    MAGGIE
		No, he's no good.  Too blond.

			    MRS. TROUT
			(picks up another)
		We'll go with total traditional.

			    MAGGIE
		Too dark.

	Then, Ike comes up behind her as she discards another groom.

			    IKE
		But he's got the Bobster's eyes.

	Maggie cringes at the sound of Ike's voice.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		No -- the Bobster's eyes are closer set.

	She ignores him and continues her search.

			    IKE (cont'd)
			(to Mrs. Trout)
		Could I have two coffees, please?  And 
		what is that wonderful smell?
			(seeing the 
			 cinnamon rolls)
		I'll have two of those delicious 
		looking cinnamon rolls.

			    MRS. TROUT
		Sure.
			(picking up a 
			 miniature bride)
		Here, Maggie.  I think this makes the 
		best you.

	Mrs. Trout steps away to get his order.  Ike moves to the other 
	side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure.

			    IKE
		Let's see... Excuse me, isn't that cute?  
		Ahh...

	He makes the bride figure repeatedly knock the groom figure in 
	the head and run away screaming.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!  Oh, help me!  
		Help me!  Yup!  That's her all right.

	Mrs. Trout just about bursts a gut laughing.  Maggie takes the 
	bride from Ike coldly.

			    MRS. TROUT
		You must be that Mr. Graham fellow.

	Ike turns and goes to her.

			    IKE
		Yes, I am.  And who are you?

			    MRS. TROUT
		Betty Trout.  Five dollars.

			    IKE
			(as he pays)
		Oh, Betty.  I take it you're going to 
		be making the wedding cake and they say 
		you're throwing --

			    MRS. TROUT
			(interrupting)
		-- The luau for Maggie.

	She starts picking lint off his sleeve and buttons his cuff.

			    MAGGIE
			(all smiles for 
			 Mrs. Trout)
		Grandma made me the cutest outfit.  I 
		can't wait to show it to you.

			    IKE
			(cynical delight)
		A pre-wedding luau?

			    MRS. TROUT
		Yes.  My husband and I love luaus.  
		It'll be fun.

	Mrs. Trout turns and grabs Ike's bag containing two coffees.

			    IKE
		Fun?  Fun isn't the word.

	Mrs. Trout beams.  Maggie understands his answer a little better. 
	Mrs. Trout hands Ike his items and he pays.

			    MRS. TROUT
		If you're still in town, you should 
		stop by.

			    MAGGIE
		No, I'm sure he doesn't.

			    IKE
			(to Mrs. Trout)
		Actually, I would love to come.
			(taps her service bell)
		Thank you.  Thank you so much.

	Maggie steps over, carrying her bride and groom figure choices.

			    MAGGIE
			(exasperated)
		Is that what you're going to do now?  
		Follow me around everywhere I go?

	Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and 
	heads for the door.

			    IKE
		No.

	He starts to leave with his bag.  Mrs. Trout stops him.

			    MRS. TROUT
			(handing him the 
			 other bag)
		Your two cinnamon rolls.

			    IKE
		Bye, Betty.  Thanks.

	He leaves.

			    MAGGIE
		He's not a nice person.

	Maggie hands Mrs. Trout her bride and broom figures.  Maggie 
	looks at Mrs. Trout, suddenly nervous.  She dashes out.  Mrs. 
	Trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing.

							CUT TO:

	EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY

	Various High School SPORTS TEAMS practice.  Maggie strides across 
	the football field, a scowl on her face.  A few HIGH SCHOOL 
	FOOTBALL PLAYERS job past Maggie, doing laps.  A boy, KENDALL, 
	calls out to her affectionately as she passes.  One of them, 
	DENNIS, slows his pace to run alongside Maggie.

			    DENNIS
			(playful)
		Maggie, don't marry Coach!  Marry me.  
		I love you.

			    MAGGIE
		You're jail bait, Dennis.  Go away.  
		Run your laps.  Go. Go.

	Dennis runs on as Maggie continues toward her goal: Bob and Ike,
	standing together on the other side of the field.

	ANGLE ON BOB AND IKE

	They're both standing on the blocking sled.  Wave after wave of 
	VARSITY FOOTBALL PLAYERS ram into the sled and drive it across 
	the field with both Ike and Bob on top of it.  Ike is munching on 
	one of the cinnamon rolls as Bob pushes the KIDS.

			    BOB
		Drive!  Drive!  From your hips, get low, 
		get low, get low.  Next!

	Ike smiles broadly atop of the sled as he sees Maggie 
	approaching, looking mighty peeved.  He nudges Bob and points to 
	Maggie.  Bob lights up at the sight of her.

			    BOB (cont'd)
		Good job, gentlemen... Special teams.

	The football players move away from the sled.  Bob moves to 
	Maggie, leaves Ike alone.

			    BOB (cont'd)
			(to Maggie)
		Hey, honey!

	Bob kisses and embraces Maggie.  She doesn't see Ike immediately, 
	then:

			    MAGGIE
			(indicating Ike)
		What is he up to now?

			    BOB
		Ike just came by to check out the team.

			    IKE
		And talk about you.

	Ike grins and shows Maggie the notes in his pocket.

			    MAGGIE
		Bob -- are you making friends with this 
		man?

			    BOB
		I'm just bragging about how great you 
		are.  I'm the luckiest man alive.

	Bob grabs Maggie around the waist and smooches her adoringly.  
	Maggie scowls at Ike.  He nods, all charm.

			    IKE
		Well -- I've got to get moving -- lot 
		of work to do today!  I'll see you two 
		love-birds later.

	Ike leaves.  Bob calls after him.

			    BOB
		See you at the wedding.

			    IKE
		You bet ya, Coach.

	Maggie is aghast.  She stares at Bob.  Ike joins in behind a line 
	of peppy cheerleaders.

			    MAGGIE
		At the wedding?  You invite him?  Bob, 
		don't you realize he's writing another 
		article about me?

			    BOB
		Sure I do.  But the bet defense is a 
		good offense, right?  You're not going 
		to let your opponent throw you off 
		your game.

			    MAGGIE
		You don't understand this guy.

			    BOB
		Let him come to the wedding.  You're 
		not running, right?  Say it. "I'm 
		not..."

			    MAGGIE
			(irritably)
		I'm not running.

			    BOB
		So if you're not running and Ike Graham 
		is there to see it, then any article he 
		writes has got to have a happy ending, 
		right?  All we're doing is turning 
		lemon into lemonade.

			    MAGGIE
		I've got news for you.  No amount of 
		sugar and water is going to turn like 
		Graham into something you want to take 
		on a picnic.

	Bob gives Maggie a big hug.

			    BOB
		Where's that homemade sunshine?

	Bob blows his whistle, then puts Maggie on the football sled.

			    BOB (cont'd)
		I want you boys to take my princess on 
		the ride of her life... Honey, tell 'em 
		where you parked your car.

	Maggie screams as the boys push her down the football field.

	INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH/CHURCH - DAY

	Maggie kneels, hands folded reverently.  The booth's grate opens 
	before her.

			    MAGGIE
		Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.  
		My last confession was... ahh...

	She tries to recall.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		... Anyway, I have sort of a technical 
		question here.  I've been having -- bad 
		thoughts.  I mean, really bad thoughts
		...

			    PRIEST
		Of an impure nature?

			    MAGGIE
		No -- like -- I'm having a problem with 
		that whole turn-the-other-cheek concept.  
		I want revenge.  I want to destroy this 
		guy's life, career, everything. On the 
		sin scale, how big is that?  I mean, 
		can I "Hail Mary" my way out of it?

			    PRIEST
		Child, any sin in one's heart is...

			    MAGGIE
			(impatient)
		The name's Maggie.  It wasn't this side 
		of ten years ago that you had your 
		tongue down my throat.  So don't call 
		me "child", Brian.  It annoys me.

			    PRIEST/    BRIAN
		Now don't get upset.

	Brian closes the confessional window and exits

			    MAGGIE
			(still inside 
			 the booth)
		Brian, open up.  Don't ignore me.

	Brian leans into her confessional.  She steps out to join him.

			    BRIAN
		You're not even Catholic, Maggie -- you 
		really shouldn't come to confession.

	He's a nice looking and gentle man.  They regard each other for a 
	beat.

			    MAGGIE
		I'm sorry.  I'm just so stressed out 
		about that slime-ball reporter being in 
		town.  I jus had to come warn you he 
		might show up here and start asking you 
		all kinds of ridiculous questions.

	Brian moves away.  Maggie follows and sits in a nearby pew.

			    BRIAN
		Actually, he only asked me one 
		ridiculous question.  The rest weren't 
		so bad.

			    MAGGIE
			(sliding along 
			 the pew)
		What?  You talked to him!  Did you tell 
		him we dated before you were a priest?

			    BRIAN
		Yes, yes, I'm sure I only did you good, 
		Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
		What did he ask?

	A woman, MRS. MURPHY, rushes in.

			    MRS. MURPHY
		Father, am I too late?

			    BRIAN
		No, no.

			    MRS. MURPHY
		It won't take long.  Jus two venials.

	The woman goes into the confessional booth to wait.

			    BRIAN
		Only respectful things.  What did we 
		have in common back then... What kind 
		of music did you like... Did you ruin 
		my life when you left me standing at 
		the altar...

			    MAGGIE
		And what did you say?

			    BRIAN
		How could I be angry at you when 
		clearly what has happened to me is as 
		God intended?

			    MAGGIE
			(relieved)
		Good one!  Thanks.

			    BRIAN
		It happens to be how I feel.

	Brian sits next to Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
		God... Of course.  I'm sorry -- I mean, 
		I'm...
			(sighs)
		Brian -- I've got to go.  The man's a 
		lunatic, but I know exactly where he's 
		going next.

			    BRIAN
		God bless you, Maggie.

	She turns to rush out, then stops herself.

			    MAGGIE
		Oh, wait, my purse.

	She moves to the confessional, knocks, then speaks to Mrs. Murphy.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		Excuse me, sorry, forgot my purse.  
		Good luck.

	Maggie closes the booth curtain and turns to Brian.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		Wait -- what was the ridiculous 
		question he asked?

	Brian smiles mischievously.

			    BRIAN
		He wanted to know how you used to like 
		your eggs.

			    MAGGIE
		Weird.  Like after all those years you 
		would remem--

	She starts to go, then stops in her tracks as she hears:

			    BRIAN
			(interrupting)
		-- Scrambled, with salt, pepper and 
		dill.  Same as me.

	Maggie  looks at Brian.  Suddenly, she remembers too.

			    MAGGIE
			(tenderly)
		I'm really sorry that I hurt you, Brian.

			    BRIAN
		I'm happy here, where I'm supposed to 
		be.  But if you ever become a Catholic, 
		may I ask you a favor, Maggie?

			    MAGGIE
		Of course.

			    BRIAN
		Could your confess to Father Patrick 
		from now on?

			    MAGGIE
		Of course.

	And she scampers out.  Brian goes back into the confessional.

	EXT. GILL'S GARAGE - DAY

	Maggie drives up to an old brick firehouse that is now an auto 
	garage.  The faded sign reads: "Gill's Garage".

	INT. GILL'S GARAGE - DAY

	Maggie rushes inside and looks around.  No one is in sight.  
	Several cars, including a yellow jeep-like car up on a hydraulic 
	lift, are in the funky garage.

			    MAGGIE
		Gill?  Lydia?  Gill?

	A CRASH, coming from the nearby back room, we hear loud muttering 
	in Spanish, then out stumbles GILL CHAVEZ, 34, wearing a grease-
	stained Grateful Dead tie-dyed T-shirt.  He grins triumphantly, 
	worshipfully cradling a CASSETTE TAPE in his hands.

			    GILL
		Hey -- I found it!

	Maggie regards her former fiance with patient warmth.

			    MAGGIE
		Found what?

	Gill looks up and gives Maggie a fond, hazy smile.

			    GILL
		Mags!  Hey, look -- The tape from the 
		Radio City Music Hall concert -- 
		Remember that night I as trying to get 
		Jerry to let me sit in on "Ripple"?

	He pulls out the cassette from its case.  It's broken.  The tape 
	is dangling from the cassette.

			    GILL (cont'd)
			(disappointed)
		Oh, I'll play it for you.

	Gill picks up an electric GUITAR and starts to play.

			    MAGGIE
			(shouts over the music)
		Listen, Gill -- There's this reporter 
		who's ben making my life a living hell
		... If he comes by here, don't talk to 
		him.  And whatever yo do....
			(crosses to Gill)
		... Don't show him that picture of me 
		at the concert in San Francisco --

	Suddenly, a loud CHUCKLING emanates from the car overhead.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		What was that?

	Maggie stops Gill from playing.  She shoots her ex an angry glare 
	and moves a lever on the shop wall.  With a HUM, the car descends.

			    GILL
		We went to San Francisco twice.  
		Remember one time we had a flat tire... 
		Which picture?

	As the hydraulic lift slows, the car is lowered, revealing Ike 
	sitting in the driver's seat.  He has been enjoying the 
	photograph he's holding.

			    IKE
			(feigning shock)
		Imagine!  Maggie Carpenter topless in a 
		public arena.
			(checks photo again)
		And I see there was a chill in the air.

	Maggie swipes for the photo, but Ike is faster at pulling it away.

			    MAGGIE
		Give me that!

			    IKE
		But the most interesting thing here is 
		that I don't see the rose tattoo that 
		I've heard about on your back.

	Gill takes off his guitar and sets it down.

			    GILL
		Ike bet me fifty bucks you don't still 
		have it, Mags.  I said "You're on, man!  
		Maggie loved that thing!"  And I could 
		really use fifty bucks.

	Maggie is conspicuously silent.

			    GILL (cont'd)
			(looking worried)
		Mags?

			    MAGGIE
		I'm not gonna show you guys anything.  
		I am a soon-to-be-married woman.  Now 
		give me that photograph.

	Maggie seethes.

			    IKE
		Sure, I would love to give this to you.  
		Just give us one quick gander at that 
		rose, and, I'll gladly hand it over.

	She tries to grab the photo again.  Ike pulls it away.

			    MAGGIE
		Fine.  Here.

	Maggie quickly turns around and pulls down the back of her shirt, 
	revealing the top of her back and a pristine expanse of skin.  No 
	tattoo.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
			(turning back around)
		Satisfied?

			    IKE
		Completely.

	Gill is still trying to grasp the meaning of this.

			    GILL
		Maggie?  You got it removed?

			    IKE
		Gill, I'll go ya double or nothing if 
		was a stick-on.

			    GILL
			(dismayed)
		Maggie?

			    MAGGIE
			(admitting)
		I'm really, really afraid of needles... 
		It doesn't make me a bad person.

	Ike laughs.  Maggie looks at him with rage.  Gill dramatically 
	pulls down the front of his t-shirt.

			    GILL
		Look.

	There it is on Gill's chest: the rose tattoo.  Maggie sighs, 
	pained.  Gill shows it to Ike.  Ike looks at the tattoo.  He 
	shakes his head at Maggie.

			    IKE
			(sincerely)
		Look, look, man.  I think the man is 
		heartbroken.

			    MAGGIE
		He is not!

	Maggie moves the lever on the wall again, sending Ike back up to 
	the ceiling in the car.  She grabs the photo from Ike and exits.

			    GILL
		I think I am.

	Gill grabs his guitar and sits.

			    GILL (cont'd)
		Hey, Ike, what would Jerry do?

	The hydraulic lift stops moving.  Ike leans out.

			    IKE
		Jerry.  He'd play.  He'd play... Jerry 
		would play his heart out.

	Ike sings and taps along in tempo on the side of the car as Gill 
	sings and plays "Ripple".

							CUT TO:

	EXT. HOTEL PORCH - NEXT DAY, SATURDAY MORNING

	As Maggie drives into town with Peggy, they see Ike on porch with 
	SHERIFF, POLICE CHIEF and MAIL    MAN, all playing instruments as 
	a blues band.  Ike is not bad on slide guitar.  They all like 
	Ike.  
	
	Maggie "CHUFFAS" with Peggy and moves on.

	EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - LATER THAT DAY

	CLOSE ON:

	The slow, loopy pitch of a softball.  A bat connects.

	NEW ANGLE:

	A big wholesome man, CORY, runs for first base.  He just beats 
	out the throw.  Bob, acting as umpire, yells, "Safe!"  Happy, 
	Cory turns to the stands and waves.

	ANGLE ON:

	Maggie and Peggy, cheering loudly.  Peggy tries to whoop harder 
	than Maggie, but that would be tough.  From firs base, Cory waves 
	back to them.  The two women sit back down and Maggie takes back 
	up with their conversation.  Maggie is still al steamed up.

			    MAGGIE
		Okay, he's on base.  Can we talk about 
		my life now?  -- Ike's going to turn 
		that tattoo stuff into a big deal -- 
		that I was never serious about Gill, 
		blah blah.  He's totally out to get me.

			    PEGGY
		For what reason?  Some personal 
		satisfaction?

			    MAGGIE
		That's what he says, but if he thinks 
		that I don't realize he's writing 
		another article, then he's an idiot.

			    PEGGY
		It's probably because you got him fired.

			    MAGGIE
			(sarcastic)
		Ya think?

			    PEGGY
		Not that he doesn't deserve to get 
		fired... Look!  Cory's going for 
		second!... Sneaky!

	ANGLE ON:

	Cory as he runs for second base and with a slide beats the throw 
	for the force out.  The women jump and cheer -- Maggie, again, 
	the most boisterous.

	ANGLE ON:

	Dennis recognizes Ike as he walks up.  Dennis tells Ike that he 
	is going to marry Maggie some day and shows Ike where Maggie is 
	sitting.

	ANGLE ON:

	Maggie spots Ike as they sit back down.  She groans.

			    MAGGIE
		There he is.  Snoop Doggy-Dogg.

			    PEGGY
		Where?

			    MAGGIE
		Over there.  Ten o'clock.  He's talking 
		to our little Dennis.  Dennis will turn 
		into one of those "sources say" things.

			    PEGGY
		He looks better with that stuff out of 
		his hair.  He's an attractive man.

	Ike finds Maggie in the crowd and leaves Dennis.

			    MAGGIE
		I'd say you've been in the sun too long.  
		You handle him, okay?  I could use five 
		minutes off from that creep.

	Before Peggy can protest, Maggie climbs down off the bleachers 
	and goes and stands near the dugout near the rest of Cory's team.

			    PEGGY
		Okay, that's fine.  I can do that.

	Ike comes up to Peggy.

			    IKE
		Hello, Peggy Phleming, "not the ice-skater".

	Ike indicates the seat next to Peggy.

			    PEGGY
			(protesting weakly)
		That's Maggie's seat...

	Ike sits down comfortably.

			    IKE
		... And this is Maggie's beer.

	He starts drinking it.  ON THE FIELD, Cory is getting ready to 
	steal third.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		That your  husband out there?  Cory 
		Phleming, a local radio announcer.

			    PEGGY
		Have you listened to his morning show, 
		"Wake up with ballplayer"?

			    IKE
		Not yet.  I had a phlemless morning.  I 
		hear he's a pretty good ballplayer.

			    PEGGY
		This game is pretty important to him.  
		He made all-stars in high school, you 
		know.

			    IKE
		That must have made you proud.

	Peggy takes a small sip off her soda.

			    PEGGY
		He was going with Maggie back then.
			(quickly)
		He was never one of her... I mean, they 
		were never going to get... They just 
		dated for a while.

	Cory dives in for third and makes it.  The crowd goes wild.  
	Peggy yells and jumps in.

			    PEGGY (cont'd)
		Good job, honey!

	But Maggie's whoop sails out above it all.  Cory waves.  But not 
	at Peggy.  He directs his delight at Maggie, who jumps up and 
	down by the dugout.

	Ike looks between Cory, Maggie and finally, Peggy.  Peggy jerks 
	her waving hand back down to her side and sits down.  Ike 
	pretends not to have noticed.  The two watch as Maggie and Cory 
	smile at each other.

			    IKE
		It's nice that they're still friends.

			    PEGGY
			(looking at Maggie 
			 and Cory)
		Oh, sure.  That was a long time ago.  
		See, she's not a man-hater at all.  
		She's very supportive of men...

	Next BATTER hits one to deep left field and it lands in the grave
	yard.  Cory scores, greeted by Maggie.  Ike and Peggy watch as 
	Cory and Maggie belly-bump and high-five each other in 
	celebration of Cory's play.  No looks at Peggy.  Ike keeps an 
	empathetic silence, seeing that Peggy is truly hurt.

			    PEGGY (cont'd)
		I'll be back in a second.

	Suddenly, Peggy stands, pushes past him and runs down the steps.  
	Maggie looks up just in time to catch Peggy's exit.  Ike pulls 
	his tape recorder out of his pocket and starts speaking into it.

	Maggie shoots Ike an accusing look, walks up to him in the 
	bleachers and sits next to him.

			    MAGGIE
		You've been here for three minutes.  
		What did you do to her?

			    IKE
		You can turn that finger around.

	Ike does an on-the-button imitation of Maggie jumping excitedly 
	at Cory.  Now Maggie sees what he's getting at.

			    MAGGIE
			(defensive)
		You misinterpret everything.  We've all 
		been friends our whole lives.  But 
		that's the types of relationship you 
		wouldn't understand.

			    IKE
		Obviously, I'm not the only one who 
		doesn't understand it.  The USS Maggie 
		leaves quite a wake... Excuse me.

	Ike walks away.  Alone, Maggie tries to seem enthused.

			    MAGGIE
		See, I cheer good.  What is he, a cheer 
		critic?

	EXT./INT. STREET/BAR - LATER - DUSK

	Sitting in front of Inn Hale Bar, we see the BARTENDER 
	pantomiming holding the reins of a wildly galloping horse.  We've 
	seen something like this before.  Maggie's wild ride away from 
	her last wedding.  Ike laughs with Bartender just as Maggie 
	drives by the bar and sees this.

			    MAGGIE
			(to herself)
		This guy never stops.

	INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - NIGHT

	Maggie walks up to the front desk of the hotel, where Lee is 
	sleeping with his feet up.  She knocks his feet off the counter.

			    MAGGIE
		Lee, hey, wake up.  Give me the key to 
		the reporter's room.  I want to snoop 
		around.

			    LEE
			(handing her the key)
		Okay.  Second floor.

			    MAGGIE
		Thanks.

			    LEE
		Don't take anything big.

	Maggie moves up the stairs towards Ike's room.

	INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

	Maggie walks towards Ike's room, checks that no one sees her and 
	enters.

	INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

	Maggie lets herself in the modest room and turns on the lights 
	on.  She spots on audio cassette on the desk near the door.  She 
	holds the cassette up to the light to read the hand-written 
	label.  It says "Miles Davis" on it.  She pockets the tape.  She 
	walks to the living room.

	MAGGIE'S POV:

	Ike has placed post-its on a framed picture, using the frame as a 
	bulletin board.  Post-it notes lay out the information he has 
	gathered under headings and subheadings.  Parents "Mother" 
	deceased, subheaded by "Walter" and there is one for "Brian", 
	"Gill", and "Bob".  Maggie smiles and shakes her head.  She rips 
	one post-it down and reads it to herself.

			    MAGGIE
			(reads)
		"How does she get all these guys to 
		propose?  She's not that beautiful."
			(snorts)
		Bite me, paper boy.

	She begins ripping many of other post-it off the picture frame.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
			(as she takes post-its)
		Rude...

	She's ripping them down, fast and furious, then shoves them in 
	her shoulder bag.

	INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL HALLWAY - CONTINUING

	Ike comes down hallway as Harvey puts his shoes out to be shined.

	BACK INSIDE THE ROOM

	Maggie, looking around, discovers the wedding video on the 
	coffee table and grabs that, too.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		Thief!

	THE SOUND OF A KEY IN THE DOOR makes Maggie jump.  She flees to 
	the bathroom, and shuts and locks the door.  Just as Ike enters, 
	he sniffs and looks around the room, instantly knowing something 
	is up.  He sees all his notes gone and a glimpse of Maggie as she 
	closes the bathroom door.  Ike is steaming.  A BUMP sounds from 
	the bathroom.  He goes over to the door and tries the handle.  
	It's locked.  He starts to pound on the door.

			    IKE
		All right, I know you're in there... 
		You steal my research... You're messing 
		with the first amendment now.  Open up.  
		Open up.  You got no place to go.

	INT. IKE'S HOTEL BATHROOM - CONTINUING

	Ike's wrong.  Maggie is already trying to open the first 
	bathroom window.  It's stuck.  She climbs over the bathtub, 
	opens that window and starts to climb out.

			    IKE
		I want to have a very serious discussion 
		with you as to why you're such a pain in 
		the ass.

	We HEAR Ike slamming his body against the bathroom door.

	As Ike breaks in, he runs to the window and yells after her.

	EXT. IKE'S HOTEL WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

			    IKE (cont'd)
		That's breaking and entering.  I'll call 
		the sheriff.

			    MAGGIE
		You do that.  And remind him he's 
		bringing the wine to the luau.  Thanks.

	She disappears around the ledge of the building and runs off.  
	Ike's neighbor, Harvey, sits reading near his window.

							CUT TO:

	EXT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

	Establishing.

	INT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

	CLOSE ON:  A CASSETTE PLAYER.  We see the familiar handwritten 
	label: "Miles Davis."  "Kind of Blue" plays as Maggie listens in 
	a chair, looking shell-shocked, surrounded by the post-its she 
	stole from Ike's room.  We see as she reads them: "Father, two-
	fisted drinker," "Peggy, best friend, but Peggy doesn't totally 
	trust Maggie," "Bob" -- doesn't love him.  Overwhelmed, she 
	finishes reading the last note, leans back, puts her feet up on 
	the table, deep in the mood of the melancholy music.  

	The CAMERA MOVES on the last note on the floor next to her chair. 
	It reads: "SHOWS NO REMORSE".

	FADE TO BLACK.

	FADE IN:

	EXT. MAIN STREET/BEAUTY PARLOR - NEXT DAY

	It's early morning.  Mrs. Pressman hands Peggy a cup of coffee 
	to go.  Peggy walks to the beauty parlor, unlocks the front door 
	and goes in.

	INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY

	Peggy enters and starts about her opening duties.  She turns on 
	the lights and turns and sees her friend, Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
		Do you think I flirt with Cory?

	Peggy stops in her track.  Maggie is sitting curled up in a salon 
	chair.  She looks like she hasn't slept.

			    PEGGY
		Good morning to you, too.  You look good.

			    MAGGIE
		Thank you.  Do you think I flirt with 
		Cory?

			    PEGGY
		Yes.

	Maggie looks miserable.

			    MAGGIE
		I don't mean it.

	Peggy moves to the salon mirror near Maggie with her cup of 
	coffee.

			    PEGGY
		I know.  I think sometimes you just 
		sort of spaz-out with random excess 
		flirtation energy and it just lands on 
		anything male that moves.

			    MAGGIE
		On anything male that moves?  As 
		opposed to anything male that doesn't 
		move?

	Peggy pours her coffee out of its Styrofoam cup into a ceramic mug.

			    PEGGY
		Like certain kinds of coral.

	Peggy sits in the salon chair next to Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
		I'm going to kill myself.

			    PEGGY
		Why?

			    MAGGIE
		Because you think I'm all like... "Hey 
		man, check me out".

			    PEGGY
			(friendly)
		No, I don't think you're like, "I'm 
		charming and mysterious in a way that 
		even I don't understand and something 
		about me is crying out for protection 
		from a big man like you".  Very hard 
		to compete with.  Especially to us 
		married women who have lost our mystery.

			    MAGGIE
		But you haven't lost your mystery!  
		You're very mysterious!

			    PEGGY
		No.  I'm weird.  Weird and mysterious 
		are two different things.

			    MAGGIE
		But I'm weird.

			    PEGGY
		No.  You're quirky.  Quirky and weird 
		are two different things.

			    MAGGIE
		Peggy, there's distinct possibility 
		that I might be profoundly and 
		irreversibly screwed up.  Despite that, 
		I love you and I can promise that I 
		will no longer flirt with Cory, and I 
		beg your forgiveness.

	Maggie looks ready to cry.

			    PEGGY
		I'm not worried about you and Cory or 
		Cory and me or even that you're 
		irreversibly screwed up.  But, Maggie, 
		you've been like this since we were 
		kids.  And I think now that you are 
		aware of it and that it hurts people's 
		feelings, maybe it's time to move on 
		with your life and commit to someone of 
		your own, like Bob, if he's the one.

			    MAGGIE
		I think you're right.
			(then)
		Is there anything I can do to make it 
		up to you?

			    PEGGY
		Something that brings warmth to my heart.
			(pause)
		Duckbill platypus.

			    MAGGIE
		It's only funny at Camp Birchwood at 
		three in the morning at a tick hunt.  
		It's not anymore.

	Maggie makes her funny face.  Peggy doesn't laugh.  

			    PEGGY
		You're right.  It's not funny now.  
		Maybe we both grew up.

			    MAGGIE
		Thanks.  Will you fix my hair?

							CUT TO:

	EXT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - LATER THAT MORNING

	Maggie exits her house, gets on her bike and rides off towards 
	town.

	INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM - LATER THAT MORNING

	Ike is still in bed.  He slowly blinks awake, stretches, and is 
	about to  throw off the covers when Maggie's voice breaks the 
	silence.

			    MAGGIE
		Freeze.  Hold on to those covers -- I 
		didn't come here to see Ike Junior.

	Maggie smiles cheerfully at Ike from the foot of the bed.  He 
	narrows his eyes at her.

			    IKE
		I take it the desk clerk is one of your 
		many admirers.

			    MAGGIE
			(deadpan)
		How do I do it?  I'm not that beautiful.

	Ike notices Maggie is holding two coffees.

			    IKE
		Coffee.  Now.

	Maggie hands it to him.

			    MAGGIE
		You're welcome.  Your notes made 
		interesting bedtime reading -- if you 
		like trashy fiction.  Your observations 
		are distorted, ungrounded an incomplete.  
		You must be very proud.

			    IKE
		I'm not a boastful man.  What's your 
		point?

	Ike puts a shirt on as Maggie speaks.

			    MAGGIE
		My point is that one again, you're 
		getting it all wrong.  That won't 
		improve your reputation any, and it's 
		not very flattering to me either.  So, 
		I'm going to give you a chance to write 
		the truth.

			    IKE
		Really.

	Maggie turns away from him as he dresses.

			    MAGGIE
		I've decided to cooperate and let you 
		interview me.
			(beat)
		For a thousand bucks.

	Ike clears his throat as he stands putting his pants on.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		I want a big wedding and a killer dress 
		and for a grand I will answer all your 
		questions and let you follow me around.

	Ike takes his coffee with him as he picks up his glasses, puts 
	them on and crosses to the window.

			    IKE
		My magazine doesn't pay because for 
		stories.  It's not what you call ethical.

			    MAGGIE
		Oh, but making up the facts as you go 
		along is ethical?  Actually, I meant 
		you.  You probably got severance or 
		expenses or both.  I'll take your check.  
		No credit cards.

			    IKE
			(to Maggie)
		You've seen the post-its.  I've already 
		got more juicy material than I need.  
		Why should I pay you dollar one?

			    MAGGIE
		Because I think you're writing on spec 
		and with a first person interview, you 
		might actually sell that thing.

	Ike knows she's right.

			    IKE
		Too much.

			    MAGGIE
		Seven-fifty.

			    IKE
		Five hundred.

			    MAGGIE
		Six-fifty.

			    IKE
		Done.

	Scowling, he writes out the check and hands it to her.  Maggie 
	looks at it and smile sweetly.

							CUT TO:

	EXT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - DAY

	Ike jogs alongside of Maggie on her bike.  Maggie parks her bike 
	and they go inside her door to the house.

	INT. MAGGIE'S FOYER AND STAIRS - DAY

	Maggie leads Ike upstairs to her workroom.

			    MAGGIE
		Pardon the mess.  I haven't cleaned 
		since the fifth grade.

	INT. MAGGIE'S WORKROOM - LATER

	Insert on a cappuccino machine.  We PULL BACK and see Maggie and 
	Ike standing at her work table.  An automatic cappuccino maker 
	stands on the table.  Its base is made from a used paint mixing 
	machine.  It looks very shiny and futuristic.  Maggie's logo 
	"MAG" is on the side.  The machine shakes as it steams the 
	cappuccino.  Ike notices another homemade machine on the table.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		What's this over here?

			    MAGGIE
		It's a birthday present for my cousin.  
		Put your finger in.

			    IKE
		Cindy the manicurist.

	He puts his finger in the wrong hole of the machine.

			    MAGGIE
		No, the other one.

	He puts his finger in the correct hole.  She turns it on.  The 
	brushes rotate.

			    IKE
			(laughing)
		This is wonderful.  You reconfigure all 
		these industrial parts and you do 
		something amazing with it.

	He looks around and spots some gadgets and lamps on another table.  
	He walks to them.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Amazing.  Found industrial stuff.  
		Willow lamp... Rasta lamp...

	He picks up one of the many logos on the counter.  Each boasts a 
	"MAG" logo.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Is this your preferred logo?

			    MAGGIE
		I think so.

			    IKE
		I like it.  This whole thing is pretty 
		incredible.
			(studying a lamp)
		I think you could probably sell this 
		lamp idea in New York.

			    MAGGIE
		Maybe someday.

			    IKE
		You afraid to try?

			    MAGGIE
			(stares at him)
		No, I'm not afraid.  Just... Maybe 
		someday.

			    IKE
		Well, I'm impressed.  Absolutely 
		incredible.
			(sitting)
		I didn't expect pink and lacy, but this 
		isn't exactly a woman's room.

			    MAGGIE
		What an incredible chauvinistic 
		observation.

	INT. MAGGIE'S LIVING ROOM - A BIT LATER THAT DAY

	Maggie's showing Ike engagement rings.

			    MAGGIE
		That's Brian's.  He took me ut canoeing 
		on the lake and gave me the ring in a 
		velvet box.

	Ike snores.  Maggie hits him.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
			(defensive)
		It was classic.

	Maggie hands Ike another ring.  This one is in the shape of a 
	Grateful Dead rose.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		Gill.  Of course.  He proposed at the 
		tie-dye t-shirt stand at a Dead concert.  
		It was very sweet until he hallucinated 
		that the drum set was a blood-sucking 
		space alien.

			    IKE
		Always a mood killer.

			    MAGGIE
		Still sweet.

	Maggie hands Ike a third ring.  It's in the shape of a butterfly 
	and studded with multi-color gems.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		George.  He proposed at a butterfly 
		farm in St. Thomas.  The ring was 
		inside a cocoon.

			    IKE
			(grimacing)
		It's a little "Silence of the Lambs" 
		for me.  I can't believe you waited for 
		the wedding to run.

			    MAGGIE
		He's an entomologist!  I thought it was 
		very unique.

	Now Maggie shows Ike the ring on her hand.  It's a gold "#1" with 
	a diamond set into the number.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		And here we are at Bob.  He proposed 
		during the seventh inning stretch...

	Ike touches her hand to examine the ring more closely.  Her 
	surprise at his touch shows on her face as she finishes her 
	sentence.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		... At an Oriole's game.

	She takes her hand down.  Ike steps away.

			    IKE
		Wait.  Don't tell me.  The scoreboard 
		lit up with "Mary me, Maggie."

	Ike picks up his cup of cappuccino and moves behind the couch.

			    MAGGIE
		It was one of the most wonderful 
		moments of my life.  Cal Ripken even 
		applauded.

			    IKE
			(stopping)
		Highly suspect.

			    MAGGIE
		What do you mean?  It was incredibly 
		romantic!

			    IKE
		Maybe it's just me, but -- if you got 
		to dress it up, it doesn't ring true.

	Ike moves back to the couch.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		I think the most anybody can honestly 
		say is, "Look..."
			(sits on the arm 
			 of the couch)
		"I guarantee that we'll have tough 
		times.  I guarantee that at some point 
		one or both of us will want to get out 
		of this thing.  But I also guarantee 
		that if I don't ask you to be  mine, 
		I'll regret it for the rest of my life.  
		Because I know in my heart -- you're 
		the only one for me"

	Maggie stares at Ike for a beat.  His words have taken a little 
	bit of her breath away.  She covers.

			    MAGGIE
		I like it.

	She moves from the fireplace to a chair and sits.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		I'd like it better on a scoreboard.
			(lightly)
		Is that how you proposed when you asked 
		your wife to marry you?


	Ike is taken aback.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		Don't look so surprised, you've got 
		divorce written all over you.

			    IKE
		I'm a work in progress.

			    MAGGIE
		So?  Is that what you said to her?

			    IKE
		No.  I think I said something eloquent 
		like, "So, uh -- maybe we should, ya 
		know.  What do you think?"

			    MAGGIE
		Now that's romantic.  A proposal like 
		that and you didn't find eternal bliss?  
		What went wrong?

	Ike takes a swallow of cappuccino.

			    IKE
		I don't know.

			    MAGGIE
		You don't know.

			    IKE
		No.

			    MAGGIE
		Maybe you should ask her some time.  
		Ever thought of that?

	Ike is restless.  He stands up.

			    IKE
		Call me crazy, but I believe that check 
		I gave you entitles me to ask the 
		questions for a while.

	Ike puts down his cup of coffee, gets his tape recorder and sits 
	close to Maggie.

			    MAGGIE
		Fair enough.
			(thinks a beat)
		Actually...

	Maggie move to TV.  She picks up Ike's stolen post-it notes and 
	her wedding video on top of the TV, and goes to the front door.

			    MAGGIE (cont'd)
		I'll just need one more day to make sure 
		your check clears.

			    IKE
		Ow!

							DISSOLVE TO:

	EXT. HALE STREET - THE NEXT DAY

	Ike and Maggie drive in Maggie's truck.  They pull up in front of 
	a Bridal Shop.

	A spectacular dress fills the small window.  It's beautiful, 
	romantic, sexy.  Maggie and Ike can be seen in the reflection.

			    MAGGIE
		Even with everything that's happened 
		I've still never been married and I 
		still deserve a beautiful dress.

			    IKE
		Agreed.

	Maggie gives Ike a smile that lights up the sky.  They go inside.

	INT. BRIDAL SHOP - DAY

	The place is fairly large and prosperous, probably the place to 
	go in the Tri-County area.  A little FLOWER GIRL, 10, is being 
	fitted on the pedestal in the middle of the room.  A saleswoman, 
	POLLY, has taken the flower girl under her wing.  They are both 
	under the expert eyes of a stern looking woman, MRS. WHITTENMEYER, 
	the shop owner.  Also, the girl's MOTHER is there watching.

			POLLY
			(to the mother)
		She'll be the prettiest little flower 
		girl in your daughter's wedding.

			    MAGGIE
		Mr. Whittenmeyer.  Hi, Polly!

	The flower girl sees Maggie and runs and hides behind Polly.

			    POLLY
		Hi, Maggie.  You'll have to excuse her, 
		Maggie.  Some of the children are 
		afraid of you since you dragged that 
		little boy up the aisle.

			    MAGGIE
		I didn't drag.
			(then to the girl)
		He tripped on his shoelaces.

	Mrs. Whittenmeyer comes forward to greet Maggie.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
		You've come for your dress.  Good!  
		I'll get it from the back.

	Maggie leads her to the front window.

			    MAGGIE
			(happily)
		Actually, I would like to get this dress.

	She points to the dress.  She smiles back to Mrs. Whittenmeyer, 
	expecting her to share her joy.  Mrs. Whittenmeyer darkens.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
			(to Polly)
		Polly, take Leslie into change.
			(then, to Maggie)
		But the one you have on hold is lovely.

			    MAGGIE
			(pleasantly)
		Yes.  But I've changed my mind.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
		It's one thousand dollars.

	Maggie is keenly aware of Ike listening in.

			    MAGGIE
		I have one thousand dollars.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
			(firmly)
		The other one is only three hundred 
		dollars.

	Maggie lowers her voice, hoping to lessen the humiliation of the 
	moment.

			    MAGGIE
		Is this dress for sale?

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
		It just seems like an awful lot of 
		money to spend on one of your dresses, 
		Maggie... You only wear them for about 
		ten minutes.

	Ike watches with regret as Maggie's child-like enthusiasm 
	drains away, her happy mood crushed by the tactless assault of 
	the shop owner.  He's starting to see that it's no always easy 
	being Maggie. There's a tremor in her voice.

			    MAGGIE
		Yeah, that's a good point.
			(then, sitting)
		The other dress is nice.

	Ike calls out to Mrs. Whittenmeyer.

			    IKE
		Mrs. Whittenmeyer.  May I talk to you 
		for a second?

	She walks over to him.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		I don't know much about this kind of 
		thing.  I'm from out of town.  You're a 
		salesperson, right?  You're here to 
		sell wedding dresses.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
			(huffy)
		Yes.  I've been here for thirty years.

			    IKE
		Perfect.  Because Miss Carpenter is 
		here to buy one.  But not just any one.  
		She wants that one.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
		It's a thousand dollars!

	Ike goes over and takes the mannequin out of the window.  Mrs. 
	Whittenmeyer catches the wig as he puts the mannequin under his 
	arm.

			    IKE (cont'd)
		Look, Aunt Bea, we're buying this 
		beautiful dress and anything else she 
		wants or I'm coming back here with a 
		squirt gun filled with India ink.

	Mrs. Whittenmeyer wilts under Ike's fierce gaze.  She turns to 
	Maggie.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
		Will he really do that?

	Maggie gives her a look.

			    MR. WHITTENMEYER (cont'd)
			(to Maggie)
		Well, why don't you pick out some 
		accessories while I get this ready, 
		dear.  Polly, will you come help me, 
		please?

	Polly comes to help carry the mannequin away.

	ANGLE ON POLLY AND MRS. WHITTENMEYER:

			    POLLY
			(whispering to Mrs. Whittenmeyer)
		It's a thousand dollars.

			    MRS. WHITTENMEYER
		Shhhh!  The man has ink!

	Maggie looks gratefully at Ike.

			    IKE
		Tough to spend money in this town.

	TIME CUT: A FEW MINUTES LATER:

	Ike sits as he hears Maggie's voice behind him.

			    MAGGIE (o.s.)
		What do you think?

	Ike turns around.  Maggie is standing on the pedestal, wearing 
	the dress and looking unbelievably gorgeous.  She is overwhelming 
	to behold and Ike has to struggle to keep his face under control.

			    IKE
			(stammering)
		You look... uh... You look fine.

			    MAGGIE
		Fine.  The newspaper's upside down.  
		That's better than fine.

			    IKE
		Bob will be very happy.

	She glows.  Then the moment between them is broken as she 
	suddenly remembers something and grabs the veil off her head.

			    MAGGIE
		Bob!  I almost forgot!  I have to meet 
		Bob!

	INT. DINER - DAY

	This is a great place -- a major hub of social life in Hale.  The 
	food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is the waitress, and the 
	CROWD the essence of what is wonderful about a small town.  Bob, 
	Maggie and Ike sit on the counter.  Mrs. Pressman CHUFFS about 
	the luau, then moves around the corner.

			    BOB
		Mrs. Pressman, I think we're ready to 
		order.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		We're out the special because 
		somebody...
			(indicates COOK with head)
		... didn't order enough sausage.

			    BOB
		Let me have the garden omelette.  Egg 
		whites only.

	Ike looks at Maggie.  He'd bet a thousand bucks on what she'd say 
	next.

			    MAGGIE
		I'll have the same.

			    IKE
			(clears his throat)
		Of course.

			    MAGGIE
		What was that?  I can't order  my eggs 
		without sarcasm?

			    BOB
		Neutral corners you two.  You're on the 
		same team now.  Any more fighting and 
		it's fifteen minutes in the penalty box.
			(gently, to Ike)
		Maggie's the nicest person you'll ever 
		meet.  But she's always focusing out 
		there.  She's got to start focusing 
		more in here.
			(taps his chest)
		That's why she's had some -- whatever 
		you want to call it -- problems in the 
		past.
			(to Maggie)
		That's what we're working on -- focus.  
		Right, Maggie?  Focus on Maggie.  Focus 
		on Bob.

	As Bob has been talking, Ike has been watching Maggie's face.  
	The joy seems to have drained out of her.

			    MAGGIE
			(quietly)
		Right.

			    BOB
			(to Ike)
		I lead Maggie through a visualization 
		exercise.  All the sports shrinks use 
		this head stuff.  Visualize the end 
		zone, if you catch my drift.

	Bob takes out a notepad and hands it to Maggie.

			    BOB (cont'd)
		Here's today's mantra: "It's an open 
		field to Big Bob."

			    IKE
		Tell me.  When you get to the altar, 
		will you spike the bouquet?

			    MAGGIE
		You know, there's no...

	Before Maggie can finish, Ike intercepts her.

			    IKE
		Well, I'm off.  A reporter's work is 
		never done.
			(heading to the door)
		Mrs. Pressman, thank you.

			    MRS. PRESSMAN
		Tootaloo.

	INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER

			    GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.)
		I'd like to explain about the weddings.  
		There are reasons why they didn't come 
		off.  Three weddings, no "I do's".  You 
		can't believe how much cake we were 
		left with.  I should weigh three 
		hundred pounds.  I don't think her 
		father minded spending so much money on 
		booze that nobody drank.

	We hear Grandma as through the hotel doors, we see Maggie exit 
	the diner.  She gets a bag from inside the cab of her truck and 
	comes inside the hotel where she finds Ike talking to Grandma, 
	who is having tea with her friend, NETTA.

			    MAGGIE
		Ike... Hi, Grandma.

			    IKE
		Gram here was going to give me the 
		skinny on why you run from marital 
		bliss.

			    GRANDMA JULIA
		Right, cover your ears, Netta.  It's 
		not that she's afraid of the wedding, 
		she's afraid of the wedding night.  
		Innocent girls are terrified of "the 
		one-eyed snake".
			(getting into it)
		Why, when I was a virgin bride, I took 
		a knitting needle with me into the bed...

	Ike winces.

			    MAGGIE
		Actually, Grandma, I charmed the one-
		eyed snake awhile ago.

			    GRANDMA JULIA
		Oh, yeah, I forgot.  I'll tell you one 
		thing, your grandpa didn't forget that 
		wedding night.
			(no Netta)
		You can take your hands off your ears, 
		Netta.  Your tea's getting cold.

			    MAGGIE
		Can you excuse us a minute?
			(then to Ike)
		May I have a word with you, please?

	Maggie moves toward door.

			    IKE
		Bye, Netta... Bye, Grandam.

	He steps over to Maggie in the doorway.

			    MAGGIE
		I found this and didn't know if it was 
		something interesting.

	Maggie hands Ike a 30-year-old LP: Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue."

			    IKE
			(excited)
		Oh, my God -- It's Miles Davis.  This 
		is "King of Blue"!  This is the 
		original recording.  Hard to find in 
		good condition.  Where did you find 
		this?

			    MAGGIE
			(casual)
		It was in the attic.  It was jus 
		sitting there gathering dust.

			    IKE
		It's valuable.  Hang onto it.

			    MAGGIE
		No.  You take it.

	She steps outside, leaving Ike with the record.

			    IKE
		Hmmm... Figuring out what kind of music 
		I like and then finding me a rare album.  
		You're not trying to soften me up, are 
		you?

			    MAGGIE
		No -- I'm cleaning an attic.  I 
		wouldn't attempt the impossible.

	She turns and walks back to the diner where Mrs. Pressman is 
	outside watering plants.  Ike looks after Maggie and then back 
	down at the record in his hand.  Somehow it makes him sad.

							CUT TO:

	INT. IKE'S CAR - LATER THAT DAY

	Ike drives through Hale gobbling french fries from the fast food 
	bag in his lap.  Ike passes THE INN HALE BAR, same dump of a 
	tavern he talked to bartender at.

	ANGLE ON: MAGGIE'S CAR parked a few cars down.  He pulls over 
	and parks.  He gets out and speaks into his tape recorder.

	INT./EXT. THE INN HALE BAR -- DAY

	Ike approaches the window of the bar.  There's a DRUNK MAN and a 
	DOG sitting outside.  Inside, we see two figures from the back, 
	arms around each other.  One is definitely Maggie.  The other is 
	definitely not Bob.

			    MAGGIE
			(coaxing)
		C'mon.  Let's go.

	As Maggie helps the man get up,  we see that it's Walter, Maggie's 
	father -- dead drunk.

			    WALTER
			(belligerently)
		I haven't had any fun since you got 
		your driver's license...

	They stumble and lurch, exiting the bar toward Maggie's car.

			    MAGGIE
		I'm not exactly having fun, either... 
		Steady.

			    WALTER
			(to Dog)
		Good boy, Port Hole.

			    MAGGIE
		His name is Skipper, Dad... Steady.

			    WALTER
		I changed it.
			(then to Drunk)
		See you later, Mr. Travis.
			(then to Maggie)
		That guy has a problem... Maggie, you 
		can run everyone's life but your own.


	Maggie's having trouble keeping him steady as she opens the car 
	door.  Ike is there in a flash to help her pull Walter into the 
	car.

			    WALTER (cont'd)
		Good daughters let their fathers pass 
		out.

	Walter passes out on the front seat.

			    MAGGIE
			(without difficulty)

		Ike... Please don't write anything 
		about this --

			    IKE
		No.  Forget about it.  Don't even think 
		about it.

	Maggie looks at him with real gratitude.  She swings the car 
	door shut.

			    MAGGIE
		Watch your leg, Dad.
			(then to Ike)
		I'm so tired of this.

			    IKE
		Why don't you let him sleep it off in 
		the trunk. I'll take you for a ride.  
		Then we'll come back for him.
			(to Drunk on bench)
		Keep an eye on him.

			DRUNK MAN
		I'm too loaded.

			    IKE
		I was talking to the dog.
			(turning to Maggie)
		All right?

	Maggie thinks about this for a moment.  She takes a deep breath.

			    MAGGIE
		Okay... I'll just grab my jacket.

							CUT TO:

	EXT. ROAD - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT

	Establishing of Ike's car driving.

	INT. IKE'S CAR - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT

	Maggie and Ike ride along.

			    IKE
		My dad managed a business and two 
		mistresses.  He wanted me to be a 
		novelist.  More?

	Maggie nods,

			    IKE (cont'd)
		My mother wanted me to become a 
		musician.  0 for two.  But at least 
		I'm a journalist and we all know 
		journalism is literature in a hurry.

	EXT. IKE'S CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

	Ike and Maggie stare forward.  Both seem in melancholy moods.  
	They're beginning to sense they're in trouble here.  Suddenly, 
	the car falters and jerks.  It shows to a stop on the shoulder of 
	the road.  The car backfires and smokes.

	EXT. IKE'S CAR -