The Princess Bride

 

 

 

Screenplay by       William Goldman

 

Produced by       Arnold Scheinman

          Rob Reiner

 

Directed by       Rob Reiner

 

 

 

Cast List:

 

Cary Elwes     Westley

Mandy Patinkin      Inigo Montoya

Robin Wright     Buttercup

Chris Sarandon      Prince Humperdinck

Christopher Guest    Count Rugen

Wallace Shawn      Vizzini

Andre the Giant      Fezzik

Savage        The Grandson

Peter Falk      The Grandfather

 

 

 

 

FADE IN ON:

 

 

A VIDEO GAME ON A COMPUTER SCREEN

 

The game is in progress. As a sick coughing sound is heard.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THIS KID

 

Lying in bed, coughing. Pale, one sick cookie. Maybe he's seven or eight or nine. He holds a remote in one hand, presses it, and the video game moves a little bit. Then he's hit by another spasm of coughing, puts the remote down.

 

His room is monochromatic, greys and blues, mildly high-tech. We're in the present day and this is a middle class house, somewhere in the suburbs.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

The Kid's MOTHER

 

As she enters, goes to him, fluffs his pillows, kissses him, and briefly feels his forehead. She's worried, it doesn't show. During this:

 

MOTHER

You feeling any better?

 

THE KID

A little bit.

 

MOTHER

Guess what.

 

THE KID

What?

 

MOTHER

Your grandfather's here.

 

THE KID

(not overjoyed)

Mom, can't you tell him that I'm sick?

 

MOTHER

You are sick, that's why he's here.

 

THE KID

He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.

 

MOTHER

Maybe he won't.

 

The Kid shoots her an "I'm sure" look, as we...

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE KID'S GRANDFATHER

 

Bursting into the room. Kind of rumpled. But the eyes are bright. He has a wrapped package tucked under one arm as be immediately goes to The Kid, pinches his cheek.

 

GRANDFATHER

Hey! How's the sickie? Heh?

 

The Kid gives his Mother an "I told you so" look. The Mother ignores it, beats a retreat.

 

MOTHER

I think I'll leave you two pals.

 

And she is gone. There's an uncomfortable silence, then:

 

GRANDFATHER

I brought you a special present.

 

THE KID

What is it?

 

GRANDFATHER

Open it up.

 

The Kid does. He does his best to smile.

 

THE KID

A book?

 

GRANDFATHER

That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today, I'm gonna read it to you.

 

THE KID

Has it got any sports in it?

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE GRANDFATHER

 

Suddenly passionate.

 

GRANDFATHER

Are you kidding? Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE TWO OF THEM

 

As the Grandfather sits in a chair by the bed.

 

THE KID

(manages a shrug)

It doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.

 

GRANDFATHER

Oh. Well, thank you very much. It's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. All right.

(book open now, be begins to read.)

The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One. Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

The story he's reading about, as the monochromatic look of the bedroom is replaced by the dazzling color of the English countryside.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that.

(to the kid)

Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

 

THE KID (O.S.)

(doing his best)

Yeah. It's really good.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

(reading)

Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

BUTTERCUP'S FARM – DAY

 

BUTTERCUP is standing, holding the reins of her horse, while in the background, WESTLEY, in the stable doorway, looks at her. Buttercup is in her late teens; doesn't care much about clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the most beautiful woman in the world.

 

BUTTERCUP

Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

 

WESTLEY

(quietly, watching her)

As you wish.

 

Westley is perhaps half a dozen years older than Buttercup. And maybe as handsome as she is beautiful. He gazes at her as she walks away.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

"As you wish" was all he ever said to her.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

WESTLEY

 

Outside, chopping wood. Buttercup drops two large buckets near him.

 

BUTTERCUP

Farm Boy. Fill these with water –

(a beat)

– please.

 

WESTLEY

As you wish.

 

She leaves; his eyes stay on her. She stops, turns – he manages to look away as now her eyes stay on him.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

BUTTERCUP IN THE KITCHEN – DUSK

 

Westley enters with an armload of firewood.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

 

BUTTERCUP

(pointing to a pitcher that she could reach herself)

Farm Boy, fetch me that pitcher.

 

He gets it, hands it to her; they are standing very close to each other gazing into each other's eyes.

 

WESTLEY

As you wish.

(now he turns, moves outside)

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

 

Outside his tiny hovel in the red glow of sunset. They are locked in a passionate kiss.

 

THE KID (O.S.)

Hold it, hold it –

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE KID'S ROOM

 

THE KID

What is this? Are you trying to trick me? – Where's the sports? – Is this a kissing book?

 

GRANDFATHER

Wait, just wait –

 

THE KID

Well, when does it get good?

 

GRANDFATHER

Keep your shirt on. Let me read.

(reading again)

Westley had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

 

They stand near the gate to the farm, locked in an embrace.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

(reading)

"It was a very emotional time for Buttercup –"

 

THE KID (O.S.)

(groaning)

I don't be-leeve this.

 

BUTTERCUP

I fear I'll never see you again.

 

WESTLEY

Of course you will.

 

BUTTERCUP

But what if something happens to you?

 

WESTLEY

Hear this now: I will come for you.

 

BUTTERCUP

But how can you be sure?

 

WESTLEY

This is true love. You think this happens every day?

 

He smiles at her, she smiles too, throws her arms so tightly around him. They kiss. Then as Westley walks away, Buttercup watches him go.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

(reading)

Westley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered –

 

THE KID (O.S.)

(perking up a little)

Murdered by pirates is good –

 

CUT TO:

 

 

CLOSE UP

 

Buttercup, staring out the window of her room.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

She went into her room and shut the door. And for days, she neither slept nor ate.

 

BUTTERCUP

(no emotion at all in her voice)

I will never love again.

 

 

HOLD ON HER FACE

 

Perfect and perfectly sad.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

FLORIN CASTLE – DAY

 

The main courtyard of Florin replete with townspeople, livestock, and a bustling marketplace.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

(reading)

Five years later, the main square of Florin City was filled as never before to hear the announcement of the great Prince Humperdinck's bride-to be.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

 

A man of incredible power and bearing, standing in his royal robes on a castle balcony. Three others standing behind him: an OLD COUPLE with crowns, the aging KING AND QUEEN, and a dark bearded man who seems the Prince's match in strength: this is COUNT RUGEN.

 

HUMPERDINCK

(raises his hands, starts to speak)

My people... a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves –

(pause)

– but perhaps you will not find her common now. Would you like to meet her?

 

And the answering YESSSS booms like summer thunder.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

A giant staircase

 

Leading to the CROWD and as a FIGURE just begins to become visible,

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE CROWD

 

As they see the figure (we haven't yet.) And if there is such a thing as collective action, then this crowd, collectively, holds its breath.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE STAIRCASE

 

As the figure appears in the archway. It is Buttercup. And she resplendent.

 

HUMPERDINCK

My people... the Princess Buttercup!!

 

She descends the stairs and starts to move amongst the people.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE CROWD

 

And they do a very strange thing: with no instruction at all, they suddenly go to their knees. Great waves of people kneeling and –

 

CUT TO:

 

 

BUTTERCUP

 

Terribly moved. She stands immobile among her subjects, blinking back tears. HOLD on her beauty for a moment.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

Buttercup's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Humperdinck the right to choose his bride, she did not love him.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

WOODLANDS

 

And Buttercup, barreling along, controlling her horse easily.

 

GRANDFATHER (O.S.)

Despite Humperdinck's reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

A WOODED GLEN, CLOSE TO SUNDOWN

 

Lovely, quiet, deserted. Buttercup suddenly reins in.

 

VOICE

A word, my lady?

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THREE MEN

 

Standing close together in the path. Beyond them can be seen the waters of Florin Channel. The three men are not your everyday commuter types. Standing in front is a tiny man with the most angelic face. He is Sicilian and his name is VIZZINI. Beside him is a Spaniard, erect and taut as a blade of steel. His name is INIGO MONTOYA. Beside him is a giant. His name is Fezzik.

 

VIZZINI

We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?

 

BUTTERCUP

There is nothing nearby; not for miles.

 

VIZZINI

Then there will be no one to hear you scream-

 

He nods to the giant, Fezzik, who merely reaches over, touches a nerve on Buttercup's neck, and the start of a scream is all she manages – unconsciousness comes that fast. As she starts to fall –

 

CUT TO:

 

 

A TINY ISOLATED SPOT AT THE EDGE OF FLORIN CHANNEL

 

A sailboat is moored. It's dusk now, shadows are long. Inigo, the Spaniard, busies himself getting the boat ready.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

The giant Fezzik

 

Carries Buttercup, unconscious, on board.

 

Vizzini rips some tiny pieces of fabric from an army jacket and tucks them along the saddle of Buttercup's horse. There is about the entire operation a sense of tremendous skill and precision.

 

INIGO

What is that you're ripping?

 

VIZZINI

(not stopping or turning)

It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.

 

FEZZIK

Who's Guilder?

 

VIZZINI

(pointing straight out)

The country across the sea. The sworn enemy of Florin.

(slaps the horse's rump)

Go!

 

The horse takes off. They start for the boat.

 

VIZZINI

Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.

 

FEZZIK

You never said anything about killing anyone.

 

Vizzini hops onto the boat.

 

VIZZINI

I've hired you to help me start a war. That's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.

 

FEZZIK

I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.

 

VIZZINI

(whirling on Fezzik)

Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

 

INIGO

I agree with Fezzik.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

CLOSE UP

 

Vizzini, in a fury.

 

VIZZINI

(we only thought he was in a fury – now he's really getting mad)

Oh. The sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern – I will kill her –

(louder)

And remember this – never forget this –

 

CUT TO:

 

 

INIGO AND Fezzik

 

As Vizzini advances on them. Nothing shows on Inigo's face, but Fezzik is panicked by Vizzini.

 

VIZZINI

(to Inigo)

When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy –

(now to Fezzik, who retreats as much as he can while Vizzini advances)

– and you – friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless – Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed in Greenland?

 

Vizzini glares at him, then turns, leaves them.

 

During this, Inigo has gone close to Fezzik, who is very distressed at the insults he's just received. As Inigo casts off.

 

INIGO

(softly)

That Vizzini, he can fuss.

(a slight emphasis on the last word)

 

FEZZIK

(looking at Inigo)

... fuss... fuss...

 

Suddenly, he's got it again, emphasis on the last word.

 

FEZZIK

I think he likes to scream at us.

 

INIGO

Probably he means no harm.

 

FEZZIK

He's really very short on charm.

 

INIGO

(proudly)

Oh, you've a great gift for rhyme.

 

FEZZIK

Yes, some of the time.

(he starts to smile)

 

VIZZINI

(whirling on them)

Enough of that.

 

As they sail off, we hear their voices as the boat recedes.

 

INIGO

Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

 

FEZZIK

If there are, we'll all be dead.

 

VIZZINI

No more rhymes now, I mean it.

 

FEZZIK

Anybody want a peanut?

 

As Vizzini screams we:

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

THE SAILBOAT RACING ACROSS THE DARK WATERS

 

Inigo is at the helm, Fezzik stands near the body of the princess, whose eyelids flutter slightly – or do they? Vizzini sits motionless. The waves are higher, there are only occasional flashes of moon slanting down between clouds.

 

VIZZINI

(to Inigo)

We'll reach the Cliffs by dawn.

 

Inigo nods, glances back.

 

VIZZINI

Why are you doing that?

 

INIGO

Making sure nobody's following us.

 

VIZZINI

That would be inconceivable.

 

BUTTERCUP

Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the Prince will see you all hanged.

 

Vizzini turns a cold eye on the Princess.

 

VIZZINI

Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own.

 

Inigo keeps staring behind them.

 

VIZZINI

Stop doing that. We can all relax, it's almost over –

 

INIGO

You're sure nobody's following us?

 

VIZZINI

As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done. And no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?

 

INIGO

No reason. It's only, I just happened to look behind us, and something is there.

 

VIZZINI

What?

 

And suddenly the three whirl, stare back and as they do –

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM

 

It's hard to see; the moon is behind clouds now. But the wind whistles. And the waves pound. And suddenly it's all gone ominous.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

INGIO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI

 

Squinting back, trying desperately to see. At this moment, they are all holding their breaths.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM

 

And there's still nothing to be seen. It's still ominous. Only now it's eerie too.

 

Then –

 

The moon slips through and –

 

Inigo was right – something is very much there. A sailboat. Black. With a great billowing sail. Black. It's a good distance behind them, but it's coming like hell, closing the gap.

 

CUT TO: