Monty Python and the Holy Grail

 

 

Screenplay         Graham Chapman

               John Cleese

               Terry Gilliam

               Eric Idle

               Terry Jones

               Michael Palin

 

Produced by         Mark Forstater

 

Directed by         Terry Gilliam

               Terry Jones

 

 

 

Cast List:

 

Graham Chapman    King Arthur

Hiccoughing Guard

Three-Headed Knight

Neil Innes       The First Self-Destructive Monk

Robin's Least Favourite Minstrel

The Page Crushed by a Rabbit

The Owner of a Duck

Terry Jones       Dennis's Mother

Sir Bedevere

Three-Headed Knight

Prince Herbert

Connie Booth       The Witch

Carol Cleveland         Zoot

Dingo

Bee Duffell        Old Crone to Whom King Arthur Said "Ni"

 

 

 

 

FADE IN:

 

 

TITLE CARD:

 

"PYTHON (MONTY) PICTURES LTD

IN ASSOCIATION WITH

MICHAEL WHITE

PRESENTS"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

MUSIC starts.

 

"MONTY PYTHON

AND

THE HOLY GRAIL"

 

SUBTITLES: "M0nti Pyth0n ik den H0lie Gralen"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Written and preformed by:

GRAHAM CHAPMAN

JOHN CLEESE

ERIC IDLE

TERRY GILLIAM

TERRY JONES

MICHAEL PALIN"

 

SUBTITLES: "R0tern nik Akten Di"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"with

CONNIE BOOTH

CAROL CLEVELAND

NEIL INNES

BEE DUFFELL

JOHN YOUNG

RITA DAVES"

 

SUBTITLES: "Wik"

 

TITLE OUT

 

TITLE IN:

 

 

"Also appearing

AVRIL STEWART

SALLY KINGHORN"

 

SUBTITLES: "Als0 wik"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Also also appearing

MARK ZYCOON ELSPETH CAMERON

MITSUKO FORSTATER SALLY JOHNSON

SANDY ROSE ROMILLY SQUIE

JONI FLNN ALISON WALKER

LORAINE WARD ANNA LANSKI

SALLY COOMBE VIVIENNE MACDONALD

YVONNE DICK DAPHNE DARLING

FIONA GORDON GLORIA GRAHAM

JUDY LAMS TRACY SNEDDON

SYLVIA TAYLOR JOYCE POLLNER

MARY ALLEN"

 

SUBTITLES: "Als0 als0 wik"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Camera Operator HOWARD ATHERTON

Camera Focus JOHN WELLARD

Camera Assistant ROGER PRATT

Camera Grip RAY HALL

Chargehand Electrician TERRY HUNT

Lighting TELEFILM LIGHTING SERVICE LTD ANDREW RICHIE AND SON LTD TECHNICOLOR

Rosturm Cameraman KENT HOUSTON"

 

SUBTITLES: "Wi n0t trei a h0liday in Sweden thi yer?"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Sound Recordist GARTH MARSHALL

Sound Mixer HUGH STRAIN

Boom Swinger GODFREY KIRBY

Sound Maintenance PHILIP CHUBB

Sound Assistant ROBERT DOYLE

Dubbing Editor JOHN FOSTER

Assistant Editors JOHN MISTER, NICK GASTER, ALEXANDER CAMPBELL ASKEW, BRIAN PEACHEY, DANIELLE KOCHAVI

Sound Effects IAN CRAFFORD"

 

SUBTITLES: "See the l0veli lakes"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Continuity PENNY EYLES

Accountant BRIAN BROCKWELL

Production Secretary CHRISTINE WATT

Property Buyer BRIAN WINTERBORN

Property Master TOM RAEBURN

Property Men ROY CANNON, CHARLIE TORBETT, MIKE KENNEDY

Catering RON HELLARD LTD

Vehicles BUDGET RENT-A-CAR"

 

SUBTITLES: "The W0nderful teleph0ne system"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Assistant Art Director PHILIP COWLAM

Construction Manager BILL HARMAN

Carpenters NOBBY CLARK, BOB DEVINE

Painter GRAHAM BULLOCK

Stagehand JIM N. SAVERY

Rigger ED SULLIVAN"

 

SUBTITLES: "And mani interesting furry animals"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"With special extra thanks to

Charlie Knode, Brian McNully, John Gledhill, Peter Thompson, Sue Cable, Valerie Charlton, Drew Mara, Sue Smith, Charlie Coulter, Iain Monaghan, Steve Bennell, Bernard Belenger, Alpini McAlpine, Hugh Boyle, Dave Taylor, Garry Cooper, Peter Saunders, Less Sheppard, Vaughn Millard, Mamish MacInnes, Terry Mosaic, Bawn O'Beirne Ranelagh.

 

Made entirely on location in Scotland at Doune Castle, Castle Stalker, Killin, Glen Coe, Arnhall Castle, Braklim falls, Sherroffmiur.

 

By Python (Monty) Pictures Ltd., 20, Fitzroy Square,

London W1 England.

And completed at Twickenham Film Studios, England.

 

Copyright (c) 1974 National Film Trustee Company Lt.

All Rights Reserved."

 

SUBTITLES: "The producers would like to thank the Forestry Commission Doune Admissions Ltd, Keir and Cawdor Estates, Stirling University, and the people of Doune for their help in the making of this film."

 

"The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional.

 

Signed RICHARD M. NIXON

 

Including the majestic m00se"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Songs

NEIL INNIS

 

Additional music

DEWOLFE"

 

SUBTITLES: "A M00se once bit my sister..."

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Costume Designer

HAZEL PETHING

 

SUBTITLES: "No realli! She was Karving her initials on the m00se with the sharpened end of an interspace t00thbrush given by Svenge – her brother–in–law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian m0vies: 'The H0t Hands of an Oslo Dentist', 'Fillings of Passion', 'The Huge M0lars of Horst Nordfink'."

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"We apologize for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked."

 

SUBTITLES: "Mynd you, m00se bites Kan be pretty nasti..."

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked."

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Production Manager JULLIAN DOYLE

Assistant Director GERRY HARRISON

Special Effects JOHN HORTON

Choreography

Fight Director &

Period Consultant JOHN WALKER

Make–up Artists PEARL RASHBASS, PAM LUKE

Photography JULLIAN DOYLE

Animation Assistance LUCINDA COWELL, KATE HEPBURN

M00se Trained by TUTTE HERMSGERV0RDENBR0TB0RDA"

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

"Lighting Cameraman TERRY BEDFORD

Special M00se Effects OLAF PROT

M00se Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL"

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

"Designer ROY SMITH

M00se Choreographed by HORST PROT III

Miss Taylor's M00ses by HENGST DOUGLAS–HOME

M00se trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG"

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

"Editor JOHN HACKNEY

M00ses' noses wiped by BJORN IRKESTORM–SLATER WALKER"

 

Large m00se on the left half side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level

 

"Geography by BO BENN

 

Suggestive poses for the M00se suggested by VIC ROTTER

Antler-care by LIV THATCHER"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, with it to be known that they have just been sacked."

 

"The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute."

 

FADE OUT

 

 

TITLE ON YELLOW BACKGROUND

 

"Executive Producer

JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama"

 

FADE OUT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

"Producer

MARK FORSTARTER

 

Assisted by

EARL J. LLAMA

MIKE Q. LLAMA III

SY LLAMA

MERLE Z. LLAMA IX

TITLE OUT:

TITLE IN:

Directed by

40 SPECIALLY TRAINED ECUADORAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS

6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS

142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS

14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA) REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON

76000 BATTERY LLAMAS FROM "LLAMA–FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY

and

TERRY GILLIAM AND TERRY JONES"

 

FADE OUT

 

 

EXT. CASTLE WALLS – DAY

 

Mist. Several seconds of it swirling about. silence possibly, atmospheric music.

 

SUPERIMPOSE: "England AD 787"

 

After a few more seconds we hear hoofbeats in the distance. They come slowly closer. Then out of the mist comes KING ARTHUR followed by a SERVANT who is banging two half coconuts together. Arthur raises his hand.

 

ARTHUR

Whoa there!

 

Servant makes noises of horses halting, with a flourish. Arthur peers through the mist.

 

CUT TO:

 

 

SHOT FROM OVER HIS SHOULDER

 

Castle (e.g. Bodium) rising out of the mist. On the castle battlements a SOLDIER is dimly seen. He peers down.

 

SOLDIER

Halt! Who goes there?

 

ARTHUR

It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of all Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!

 

Pause.

 

SOLDIER

Get away!

 

ARTHUR

I am... And this my trusty servant, Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join our court at Camelot.. I must speak with your lord and master.

 

SOLDIER

What? Ridden on a horse?

 

ARTHUR

Yes!

 

SOLDIER

You're using coconuts!

 

ARTHUR

... what?

 

SOLDIER

You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together.

 

ARTHUR

(scornfully)

So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea.

 

SOLDIER

Where did you get the coconuts?

 

ARTHUR

Through... we found them.

 

SOLDIER

Found them? In Mercea. The coconut's tropical!

 

ARTHUR

What do you mean?

 

SOLDIER

Well, this is a temperate zone.

 

Arthur

The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

 

SOLDIER

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

 

ARTHUR

Not at all. They could be carried.

 

SOLDIER

What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

 

ARTHUR

Why not?

 

SOLDIER

I'll tell you why not... because a swallow is about eight inches long and weighs five ounces, and you'd be lucky to find a coconut under a pound.

 

ARTHUR

It could grip it by the husk...

 

SOLDIER

It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple matter of weight-ratios... A five-ounce bird could not hold a a one pound coconut.

 

ARTHUR

Well, it doesn't matter. Go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.

 

A Slight pause. Swirling mist. Silence.

 

SOLDIER

Look! To maintain Velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings four hundred and ninety three times every second. right?

 

ARTHUR

(irritated)

Please!

 

SOLDIER

Am I right?