OPENING SEQUENCE

Blue Moon against a black sky.

Blue house silhouette against a black sky.

The house recede into the background, getting smaller and smaller.

EXT: LARGE HOME: NIGHT

Upper middle-class home with Christmas decorations. Very noisy. Sounds of

many people talking at once. "Where's my suitcase?"

INT: LARGE HOME: NIGHT

A policeman, with his back to the camera, stands in the hallway. He tries

to get someone two pay attention to him, but everyone ignores him. Two

small girls walk down the staircase. A third girl walks up, a fourth girl

walks down. They all walk past the policeman as if he didn't exist. He

stands alone, with his hands on his hips, expressing exasperation.

[ Rejection of authority generates humor. This allows the audience to

vicariously experience superiority over policemen, and releases repressed

feelings of resentment that expresses itself in laughter. The policeman is

a "traffic cop" that is being ignored; a deviation from normal patterns of

behavior. The policeman becomes frustrated. The audience finds the

exasperation of an authority figure to be amusing. ]

INT: PARENT'S BEDROOM: NIGHT

Kevin's mother is on the phone, talking to a friend. She packs clothes on

the bed, while her husband is in the bathroom. A small boy, KEVIN, walks

into the room.

"Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie. But the big kids can. Why

can't I?"

"Kevin, I'm on the phone," responds his mother.

"It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk."

"Kevin, if Uncle frank says no, then it must be really bad."

[ Common empathy structure of a young child being ignored by his parents or

guardians. Elliott in E.T. and Dorothy in WIZARD OF OZ. ]

Kevin jumps on the bed. His mother tells him to get off, but he ignores

her. Kevin picks up a book that is a travel guide to France. "Hang up the

phone and make me, why don't you.

[Resentment at being ignored]

Kevin's father, wearing a blue shirt, walks into the room. he talks to his

wife.

'Hey, by any chance, did you pick up a voltage adapter thing?"

"No, I didn't have a chance."

"How am I supposed to shave in France?"

"Grow a goatee."

"Dad, nobody will let me do anything?" says Kevin.

"You want to do something, you can pick up those micro-machines in the

hall. Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck."

"He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun," says the mother.

Kevin makes a grim face and signals to his mother to stop talking by

cutting his throat with hand.

"Didn't we talk about that?" says his father.

Kevin replies, with an attitude. "Did I burn down the joint? I don't think

so. I was making ornaments out of fish-hooks."

"My new fish-hooks?" replies the father.

"I can't make ornaments out of the old ones, with dry worm guts stuck on

them."

[Humor generated from the clash of two opposing points of view, each

understandable or expressing a truth from their perspective. Kevin's

behavior is appropriate from his perspective, but inappropriate from the

father's perspective. ]

Kevin's dad picks him up and starts to carry him out of the room.

Aunt Leslie enters and says "Peter, Kay, do you guys have a voltage

adapter?"

[ Effective way of naming father and mother, with a repetition of the

voltage adapter request. Incompetence factor. No one has thought of getting

the tool that they will need to use their appliances in France.

Incompetence generates laughter. ]

"Here's a voltage adapter," says Peter as he places Kevin in Aunt Leslie's

arms.

"Oh, you're getting heavy. Go pack your suitcase."

"Pack my suitcase?"

[ Terror strikes Kevin. He is incompetent, helpless, vulnerable. He can't

take care of himself. This generates empathy for him, especially when his

sisters and brothers refuse to help him, and instead ridicule him. ]

INT: DINING ROOM: NIGHT

A girl walks by a young boy sitting at the dining room table.

"Do you know where the shampoo is, Fuller?"

"I don't live here," replies Fuller.

"I don't believe that in a house with this many people there is no

shampoo."

The policeman stops her.

"Pardon me, are you're parents home?"

"Yeah, but they don't live here," she says, as she walks away.

[ Humor generated by a literal response to a question which states a truth,

but doesn't give the answer that the questioner desired. This is a

deviation from expected patterns of communication. The norm is that if a

person asks a question, you should attempt to satisfy his information

request, not make a true statement that is irrelevant to his needs. An

instance of miscommunication. ]

A girl, wearing a Northwestern tee shirt, comes down the staircase. She

speaks with another girl. "Tracy, did you order pizza?"

"Roz did."

"Excuse me, Miss. Are your parents here?" asks the cop.

"My parents are in Paris. Sorry."

The policeman grabs a little girl by the shoulder. "Hi, are your parents

home?"

"Yeah."

"Do they live here?"

"No."

"No. Why should they. All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage."

[ Humorous, because this is a unexpected, yet plausible, interpretation of

the situation. ]

INT: BEDROOM: NIGHT

Kevin sits with one of his brothers who is packing a suitcase. "I don't

know how to pack a suitcase. I have never done this once in my whole life,"

says Kevin.

"Tough."

They walk out into the hallway.

"That's what Marie said."

"What did I say?"

"You told Kevin tough."

"The dope was whining about his suitcase. What am I supposed to do. Shake

his hand and say, congratulations, you're an idiot?"

"I'm not an idiot!" says Kevin.

[ Empathy is generated for Kevin because he is being ridiculed. ]

"Oh really. You're completely helpless. Everyone has to do everything for

you."

"She's right, Kev."

"Excuse me puke breath. I'm a lot smaller than you. I don't know how to

pack a suitcase."

Another girl walks down the hallway. "Hey, I hope you didn't just pack

crap, Jeff."

"Shut up, Linnie."

"You know what I should pack?" Kevin asks Jeff.

"I already told you, cheese face. Toilet paper and water."

"Listen, Kevin, what are you so worried about? You know that Mom is going

to pack your stuff anyway. You are what the French call Les Incompetent!"

says Linnie.

"What?" says Kevin.

[ Characterization of Kevin as incompetent; completely helpless ]

Jeff throws a packed bag down the staircase. "BOMBS AWAY!" The bag lands at

the feet of the policeman.

[The audience laughs because of the near-miss of a disaster. The built up

tension is released through laughter. This is an instance of a relief

theory of laughter. ]

Linnie continues talking to Kevin. "P.S. You have to sleep on the

hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's going to wet the

bed."

[ This is the most babyish of all actions, and Kevin will have to sleep in

the wet bed. Disgusting situations also generate laughter.]

Kevin stands alone on the balcony. "This house is so full of people it

makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. DID YOU

HEAR ME? I'M LIVING ALONE!!!" Kevin shouts as he jumps up and down.

[Humor generated be the contradiction of "being married" and "living

alone", plus the exaggerated reactions of Kevin jumping up and down in a

tantrum. ]

The policeman, in amazement and with mouth agape, watches Kevin as he jumps

up and down.

[ This character's reaction is how the director wants the audience to

respond. ]

INT: BUZZ'S BEDROOM: NIGHT

A young boy wearing glasses taps on a glass aquarium that contains a large

tarantula. "Whose going to feed your spider while you're gone?"

"He just eat a load of mice-kettes," says Buzz. "He should be good for a

couple of weeks. Is it true that French babes don't shave their pits."

[ Gross, coarse characterization of Buzz. Deviant character type. ]

"Some don't."

A picture of a nude playgirl hangs on the wall, near a rifle and a poster

of a baseball player.

[ Standard images associated with an adolescent male. ]

"But they got nude beaches," says Buzz.

"Not in winter."

Kevin enters the room and timidly approaches Buzz. "Buzz."

"Don't you know how to knock, phflemwad."

Buzz is ferociously antagonistic.

[None of the other children either help or seem to like Kevin, which

generates empathy for him, because he's just a small child who needs help

to pack his suitcase. ]

"Can I sleep in your room. I don't want to sleep in the hide-a-bed with

Fuller. if he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed."

"I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass,"

replies Buzz.

Suddenly they hear rustling outside their window.

"Check it out! old man Marey," says Buzz.

The three boys run to the window.

"Who is he?" asks the boy with glasses.

Outside they see an old man drag a metal garbage can down a snow covered

walk. He carries a metal shovel in his free hand.

"You ever hear of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?" asks Buzz.

"No," responds the boy with glasses.

"That's him," says Buzz. "Back in'58 he murdered his whole family and half

the people on the block with the snow shovel. Been hiding out in this

neighborhood ever since."

"Well, if he's the Shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?"

"Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies, but everyone

around here knows he did it. And it will just be a matter of time before he

does it again."

The old man shovels snow off the path, then uses the shovel to spread salt

on the walk. Kevin is frightened.

"What's he doing now?" asks the boy with glasses.

"He walks up and down the street every night salting the sidewalks."

"Maybe he's trying to be nice."

"No way. See that garbage can filled with salt. that's where he keeps his

victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummy's."

Kevin becomes terrorized. "Mummies," he says.

The old man looks up from his work and sees the three boys watching him.

They quickly pull the drapes across the window. The old man continues to

stare up at the window.

[ Buzz creates a story about that old man that causes him to become the

source of terror and an antagonist in the mind of Kevin. This fear Kevin

must overcome before he confronts the real villains of the story. This also

setups the audience because it misdirects their beliefs and expectations.

They, like Kevin, believe that the old man is the real villain of the

story. ]

EXT: STREET: NIGHT

A pizza delivery car is recklessly driven down the street. It pulls into

the front of Kevin's house, then hits the metal lawn boy stature, knocking

it to the ground. A the side of the car is painted: "LI TTLE NERO DELIVERS.

20 MINUTES OR YOU DON'T PAY." The pizza delivery boy runs out of the car

and picks up the metal lawn boy statue.

INT: KEVIN'S HOME: NIGHT

Two little children stare up at the policeman who is trying to find out if

they are going on a trip, but the little boy and little girl just stare up

at him without responding. There is a knock on the front door. The

policeman opens the door and lets in the pizza delivery boy.

"Okay, that's $122.50," he says to the cop.

"Not for me, kid. I don't live here."

"Oh, you're just around for the holidays?"

"I guess you could say that."

Uncle Frank sees the pizza and takes the boxes from the delivery boy.

"That's $122.50."

"Ah, it's my brothers house. He'll take care of it."

Frank walks away with the boxes of pizza.

[ Frank's character is established as being cheap. This will be confirmed

throughout the story, but is established as soon as he is introduced. ]

Kevin's father, Peter, comes downstairs and shakes hands with the

policeman.

"Hi," says Peter.

"Hi," answers the policeman. "Mr. McCalister?"

"Owes $122.50," says the delivery boy.

"Am I under arrest or something?" asks Peter.

"No, no, no. Christmas time. Always a lot of burglars around the holidays.

Just checking around the neighborhood to see that everyone's taking proper

precautions, that's all."

"Oh, well, we have automatic timers for our lights. Locks for our doors.

That about all that anyone can do nowadays. You get eggnog or something?"

"Eggnog? Listen, will you be leaving..."

Kevin runs downstairs yelling "Pizza, pizza."

INT: KITCHEN: NIGHT

As Kevin enters, everyone is already eating.

"Frank, you got some money. Come on," says his wife.

"Travelers checks," answers Frank.

"Probably the kind you can't use in Paris," says Peter.

"Forget it Frank. We have cash," says Kay.

"Did anyone order me a plain cheese," asks Kevin

. Buzz stuffs his mouth with pizza.

"Oh yeah, we did. But if you want any, someone will have to barf it all up,

because it's gone."

"Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi," says Aunt Leslie.

Fuller stares at Kevin and smiles. Kevin becomes infuriated.

[ The audience realizes that Fuller will wet the bed now, and Kevin will

have to sleep in it. ]

Buzz mocks Kevin by telling him to get a plate, then fakes throwing up the

pizza. Kevin charges into Buzz's stomach, and accidentally knocks over cups

of milk which wet the plane tickets.

"Passports!" yells Peter, as he puts down the plastic Pepsi bottle. The

bottle tips over and spills soda onto the table. Uncle Frank pushes his

chair back and smashes Fuller against the wall. Peter tries to sop up the

milk with napkins. He unwittingly throws one of the plane tickets into the

garbage pail.

[ This is necessary so that later when they board the plane that airline

attendant won't ask the parents why they have one extra ticket before the

plane departs. ]

Kay yells at Kevin. "What is the matter with you?"

"He started it. He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows that I hate sausage

and olives and..." says Kevin.

Uncle Frank wipes the wet Pepsi from his pants. "Look what you did, you

little jerk!"

Everyone stares down at Kevin.

"Kevin, get upstairs right now," says his mother.

"Kevin, you're such a disease," says Jeff.

"Kevin, upstairs," says his father.

[ This creates empathy for Kevin because he is unfairly treated. ]

"Say goodnight, Kevin," says Kay.

"Goodnight, Kevin," responds Kevin.

Kay drags Kevin into the hallway.

"Why do I always get treated like scum?"

The pizza boy is still standing by the front door, while the policeman

looks around the living room. Kay pays the pizza boy.

"Having a reunion or something?" asks the policeman.

"No, my husband's brother transferred to Paris last summer and both his

kids are going to school here ... I guess he misses the family."

The policeman smiles at Kevin. His gold tooth sparkles. Kevin notices this.

"He's given us this trip to Paris so that we can all be together."

"You're taking a trip to Paris?"

"Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning."

"Excellent. Excellent," answers the policeman.

"Excuse me, this one's out of sorts," says Kay as she pulls Kevin upstairs.

"Don't worry about me. I spoke with your husband already, and don't worry

about your home. It's in good hands."

Kay leads Kevin upstairs. "There are fifteen people in this house. You're

the only one who has to make trouble."

"I'm the only one getting dumped on," replies Kevin.

"You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs."

"I am upstairs, dummy."

Kay opens the door to the attic.

"The third floor?" asks Kevin in horror.

"Go!"

"It's scary up there."

"Don't be silly. Fuller will be up there in a little while."

"I don't want to sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed.

He'll pee all over me. I know."

"Fine, we'll put him somewhere else," answers the mother.

"I'm sorry," says Kevin.

"It's too late. Get upstairs."

"Everyone in this family hates me."

"Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family."

"I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Families suck!"

"Just stay up there. I don't want t see you again for the rest of the

night."

"I don't want t see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't

want to see anyone else either."

"I hope that you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up

tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family."

"No I wouldn't" answers Kevin.

"Then say it again. Maybe it will happen."

"I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!"

Kevin walks up into the attic as his mother closes the door.

Kevin lies in the attic bed. His thoughts are heard: "I wish they would all

just disappear."

[This is Kevin's dream, his primary objective. ]

EXT: SKY: NIGHT

A full moon. Clouds cover the moon. Wind blows through the trees in front

of Kevin's house. The wind blows a plastic Santa Claus down the sidewalk.

It blows a red ribbon off a lamppost. It moves shutters on the window and

swings a light in front of the door. It shakes a Santa Claus wreath on the

door. A tree branch breaks and falls on some power lines, causing an

electrical blackout. The lights go out in Kevin's house. The LED on a clock

radio states 4:37 before it goes out due to power failure.

[ This is the inciting event that causes the world of the protagonist to

change. ]

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

A man is knocking on the front door. Two airport express vans are parked in

front of the house. One driver knocks on the front door as the second

driver picks up the metal lawn boy statue. Across the street a power

service man is working on a voltage box.

"She said 8:00 sharp," says one of the drivers as he rings the doorbell.

INT: BEDROOM: DAY

Kay, while still in bed and under the covers, picks up her watch.

"Peter!" she shouts, as they both jump out of bed.

"We slept in!" they shout in unison, as they run out of the bedroom.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Everyone is frantically running through the house as they prepare for the

airport.

[ Funny because of the speeded up perception of time. ]

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

A boy walks towards the van from across the street.

"Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street," he says as he talks to a

man packing luggage into one of the vans.

"You guys going out of town? We're going to Orlando, Florida. Well,

actually, first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. Do you know

that the McCalisters are going to France? Do you know if it's cold there?

Do you know if these vans get good mileage?

"Gee kid, I don't know. Hit the road," answers the driver.

[Humor generated by the deviation from normal patterns of behavior: the

young boy who continuously asks questions without waiting for an answer,

and who irritates an "authority" figure. ]

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Fast speed footage of the household in pandemonium.

[ Deviation from normal patterns of movement is humorous ]

"Heather, do a head count. make sure that everyone is in the vans," orders

Kay. "Where are the passports and tickets?"

"I put them in the microwave to dry them off," answers Peter.

[ Humorous because this is non-standard behavior which has plausibility:

truth from a different perspective. ]

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Mitch is sitting in a van next to a driver. "How fast does this thing go?

Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have four wheel drive?"

"Look," says the driver, "I told you before kid, don't bother me. Now beat

it."

Children exit from the house and line up in front of the vans. Mitch is

inside one of the vans. He opens up one of the traveling cases, takes out a

camera, and takes a photo of the inside of the van.

"Wow," says Mitch.

[Deviant and stupid behavior is funny. ]

Heather takes a head count and includes Mitch, whose back is to her. Mitch

is about the same size as Kevin. Buzz is being difficult and distracting

her. He calls out random numbers as she is trying to count.

"Half in this van, half in this van," orders Heather.

Mitch exits the van. "Have a good trip. Bring me back something French," he

says as he walks away.

Aunt Leslie, Kay, Uncle Frank and Peter exit the house. peter locks the

door.

"There is no way on earth we're going to make this plane. It leaves in

forty-five minutes," says Frank.

"Think positive, Frank," says Peter.

"You be positive. I'll be realistic!"

As Kay enters the van, the power man approaches her. "Mame, I just want you

to know that your power is fixed, but your phone lines are a mess. it's

going to take Ma bell a couple of days to patch it up, especially around

the holidays."

"Heather, did you count heads?"

"Eleven including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and

a partridge and a pear tree."

They drive away from the house.

[ The frantic activity justifies forgetting Kevin.]

INT: AIRPORT TERMINAL: DAY

Peter, Kay and family run through the airport terminal towards the gate

from which their plane is departing.

"Hold the plane," yells Peter.

"Did we miss the flight?" asks Kay.

"No, you just made it. Take whatever is free," replies the attendant.

The children run on board.

INT: PLANE: DAY

The stewardess takes Kay and Peter's coats.

"Champagne, please. It's free, isn't it?" asks Uncle Frank.

"Oh, yes," replies the stewardess.

[This reconfirms Frank's stinginess.]

"We made it," says Peter.

"Do you believe it? I hope we didn't forget anything," says Kate.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

The door to the attic slowly opens up and Kevin pokes out his head. He

doesn't hear any noise as he walks into the hallway.

EXT: AIRPORT: DAY

The plane takes off from the runway.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin walks through the empty house until he reaches the kitchen. He turns

on the TV, then sits down at the counter. After a few moments, he shuts off

the TV. "Mom," he softly calls out.

EXT: AIRPORT: DAY

The plane flies away into the sky.

INT: PLANE: DAY

Passengers are eating their food. Uncle Frank notices that the crystal is

real, and tells his wife to put it into her purse. She protests as the

stewardess walks by.

[Deviant behavior is humorous. ]

"Don't you fee like a heel flying first class with all your kids back in

coach?" Kay asks Peter.

"No, the kids are fine. the only flying I did as a boy was in the back of

the families station wagon, and it wasn't to France. The kids are okay.

They're having the time of their lives," says Peter.

"Yeah," says Kay.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin walks through his empty house.

"Hello ... Mom ... Dad ... Mom ... Dad ... where are you guys?"

Kevin walks into Buzz's room past the spider in the aquarium.

"Buzz ... Buzz."

He walks down into the basement. "Uncle frank ... Is this a joke? Megan ...

Linnie..." Kevin looks around the basement, then stares at the furnace,

which then in his imagination makes a loud growling noise and lights up

with a red flame against the black metal. "It's all my imagination," says

Kevin as he runs up the stairs.

[ Kevin is alone and in jeopardy. ]

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin runs out the front door and to the side of the house. he looks up the

driveway and sees two cars in the garage.

"The cars are still here. They didn't go to the airport".

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin returns to the kitchen and sits down at the counter. "I made my

family disappear," he says with concern. But then he imagines the face of

each member of his family and the words they last spoke to him.

"Kevin you're completely helpless."

"No, Kevin, you're what the French call Les Incompetent."

"Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula."

"Kevin, you are such a disease."

"There are fifteen people in this house, and you're the only one who has to

make trouble."

"Look at what you did, you little jerk."

Kevin then smiles. "I MADE MY FAMILY DISAPPEAR!"

[ Celebration Time. ]

INT: PARENTS BEDROOM: DAY

Kevin jumps up and down on the parents bed while eating popcorn.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin runs down the staircase into the dining area as he wildly waves his

arms. He runs throughout the house, as happy as can be.

INT: BUZZ'S ROOM: DAY

He runs into Buzz's room, then opens Buzz's chest. Kevin reads a playboy

magazine. "No clothes on anybody. It's sickening!" He then finds some

firecrackers. "Cool, firecrackers. I'll save these for later. Buzz, I'm

going through all your private stuff. You better come out and pound me."

Kevin picks up a picture of Buzz's fat girlfriend.

"Buzz, your girlfriend. Wuff!"

Kevin sees the rifle on the wall.

He places nature figurines on the clothes dump ledge, then shoots at them

with the air-gun. He's a good shot, and knocks each one into the dumpster

with one shot each.

INT: KITCHEN: DAY

The kitchen counter is a mess with ice-cream slopped all over the counter.

INT: LIVING ROOM: DAY

A videotape, "ANGELS WITH FILTHY SOULS" is placed into the VCR. Kevin

watches the tape.

INTERCUT VIDEOTAPE SEQUENCE

Knock on door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, snakes. I got the stuff."

"Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here."

"All right, Johnny. But where's my money?"

"What money?"

"A.C. said you had some dough for me."

"Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?"

"A.C. said 10%."

"Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more. He'll call you when he gets out."

Kevin calls out to no one. "Guys, I'm eating junk food and watching

rubbish. You better come out and stop me."

"Hey, I tell you what I'm going to do, snakes. I'm gonna give you to the

count of ten to git your ugly no good yellow keister off my property before

I pump you full of lead."

"All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going."

"One ... two ... ten!"

Johnny guns down snakes, laughing and gloating as he watches him die. "Keep

the change you filthy animal!"

Kevin becomes frightened and yells out for his mother. "Mom!"

INT: AIRPLANE: DAY

Kay is asleep on Peter's shoulder. She suddenly awakes, then checks her

wallet.

"What's the matter," asks Peter.

"I have a terrible feeling," says Kay.

"About what?"

"That we didn't do something."

"No, you feel that way because we left in a hurry. We took care of

everything. Believe me we did."

"Did I turn off the coffee?"

"No. I did."

"Did you lock up?"

"yeah.

"Did you close the garage?"

"That's it. I forgot to close the garage. that's it."

"No, that's not it," says Kay.

"What else could we be forgetting?"

"KEVIN!!!" shouts Kay.

INT: TOP OF STAIRCASE: DAY

Kevin positions a toboggan on the top of the stairs, pointed down to the

open front door. He slides down the staircase, out the front door, and onto

the front lawn.

INT: AIRPLANE: DAY

Aunt Leslie, Uncle Frank, and Peter try to console Kay.

"The Captain is doing all he can, but the phones are still out of order,"

says a stewardess.

"Horrible, horrible," says Frank.

"How could we do this. We forgot him."

"Didn't forget him. We miscounted," says Peter.

"What kind of mother am I?" says Kay.

"If it makes you fell any better," says Frank, "I forgot my reading

glasses."

They all stare at him in disbelief

[ Frank's statements are inappropriate to the situation. This comparison

trivializes the situation. Reading glasses are radically smaller in

importance to a small eight year old child. ]

EXT: STREET: NIGHT

"Five families down on one block alone. They all told me from their own

mouths," says Harry, the burglar who was disguised as a cop

. "It's almost too easy," says Marv.

"Check it out. All the houses with nobody home has automatic timers in

their houses, and I have it all figured out. Watch this," says Harry.

"Number 664 will be going on right NOW!" The lights go on inside this

house.

"Number 672 right now! Number 671, now! And that's the one, Marv. That's

the silver doughnut."

"Oh, it's very G."

"Very G, huh. It's loaded. It's got lots of goods. Stereos. VCRs. Possibly

looking at some very fine jewelry. Possible cash hoard. Unmarketable

securities. Who knows. Grab your crowbar."

"Crowbar up!" responds Marv.

INT: LIVING ROOM: NIGHT

Kevin is asleep in the chair as the TV plays the Grinch that stole

Christmas.

EXT: STREET: NIGHT

The burglar's van pulls up in front of Kevin's house, then backs into the

driveway. Kevin hears the car door slam shut, and this wakes him up. The

two burglars walk to the back of the house. Kevin sees them go by his

window. They try to enter the house through the basement door. Kevin runs

through his house turning on all the lights. The burglars try to open the

door with crowbars. Kevin turns on the basement light. This scares the

burglars and they run away.

INT: PARENT'S BEDROOM: NIGHT

Kevin hides under the bed.

EXT: AIRPORT: DAY

Plane takes off.

INT: PARIS AIRPORT: DAY

Kay, Peter and the family run through the terminal. A French woman is

speaking on the terminal phone. Kay tells her that its an emergency, and

when the woman won't give her the phone, Kay yanks it away from her. Kay

tells Peter to book them on a flight home., then tells her children to call

everyone they know. Kay tries to call the police back home. Kay tells

Leslie and Frank to call everyone on their street. "Hello, hello," Kay says

into the phone. "She'll have to call you back."

INT: PARENT'S BEDROOM: DAY

Kevin is hiding under his parent's bed. "This is ridiculous. Only a whimp

would be hiding under a bed. And I can't be a whimp. I'm the man of the

house." Kevin crawls out from under the bed.

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin walks out the front door and down the walk. "Hey, I'm not afraid

anymore. I said, I'm not afraid anymore." He walks down his front path,

sees the old man from next door with a shovel in his hand and pulling the

garbage can. Kevin screams, turns and runs back into his house.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

He slams the door shut, runs upstairs, screams (with mouth open wide),

jumps on his parents bed, then hides under the covers.

[ Major theme of this story will be Kevin confronting his fears and

overcoming them. ]

INT: POLICE DEPARTMENT: DAY

A policewoman is working at her desk when her phone rings. She picks it up

and says "Village Police Department."

INTERCUT: PARIS AIRPORT

Kay is on the phone in the Paris Airport Terminal.

"I'm calling from Paris. My son's home all alone, the phones out of order.

I would like someone to go over there and tell him that we are coming home

to get him."

"Let me connect you with family crisis intervention," says the policewoman.

She puts Kay on hold, then knocks on the glass window separating her office

from the policeman next to her. "Larry!" she shouts.

A policeman is sitting at his desk eating a doughnut. On the glass window

in front of him is written: "CRISIS CENTER". He picks up the phone.

"Sgt. Balzac."

"I'm calling from Paris. I have a son."

"Has the child been involved in an altercation with a drunken or mentally

ill member of his immediate family."

"No!"

"Has he been involved in a household accident?"

"I don't know?" answers Kay.

"Has the child ingested poison or has an object been ingested in his

throat?"

"No, he's just home alone, and I want somebody to go by our house and check

on him."

"You want us to go by your house just to check on him?" answers the

policeman.

"Yes," answers Kay.

"Let me connect you with the police department."

"No, they just connected me to you," replies Kay.

"Rose, hyper on 2. Hang on please."

While she's waiting for the policewoman to respond, Kay asks the children

if they were able to reach anyone. They tell her no.

Aunt Leslie returns and says, "Sorry, nothing but a bunch of answering

machines."

Kay screams into the phone. "Somebody pick up! PICKUP!"

The policewoman at the other end answers. "Oh, hi, Mame. It's you again.

Okay, we'll send a policeman over to your house to check up on your son."

INT: PARENT'S BEDROOM: DAY

Kevin is in bed, hiding under the red covers. There is a knock on the front

door.

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

A policeman is standing outside the front door. He rings the doorbell, but

there is no answer. "There's no one home. The house looks secure," says the

policeman. The policeman turns and walks away.

INT: PARIS AIRPORT: DAY

Peter argues with the ticket person about getting a plane back to the

states. "The police are going to check on Kevin," says Kay

"Everything here is booked," responds Peter. "Nothing to Chicago."

The only thing that they have is a Friday morning booking, which is two

days away. Kay refuses to go to Rob's house, and instead will stay at the

airport. There may be some hope for a standby position. Peter takes the

family to Rob's house in Paris.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin stands in front of a large mirror as he talks to himself He has just

finished combing his hair after taking a shower. He washed every body part

with actual soap. All major crevices, in between toes and belly button. He

sprays his underarms with deodorant.

"Can't find toothbrush, otherwise I'm in good shape."

Kevin picks up a bottle of BRUT33 after shave lotion, slaps some on his

face, then screams from the pain.

[Ineptness. Deviation from expected patterns of behavior. No real harm

done. ]

INT: BUZZ'S ROOM: DAY

Kevin sees a baseball game box on the top shell he climbs up the bookcase

in order to get the game. The bookcase collapses. The shelves fall to the

floor. The aquarium brakes and the tarantula escapes. Kevin takes Buzz's

cash from a box.

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin exits from the back door. He sees the burglars van parked in Murphy's

driveway. "I thought the Murphys went to Florida?"

INT: MURPHY HOUSE: DAY

Harry is playing with a toy car in front of a Christmas tree. Marv is

wearing scuba goggles as he places goods into a sack. They have made a mess

of the house.

[Wanton destruction generates enmity. Incompetent, unnecessarily

destructive behavior is humorous. ]

"You know you're one of the great cat burglars, Marv. You think you can

keep it down a little in there? Huh?"

[Ironic ridicule. ]

The phone rings, which activates an answering machine. Peter McCalister

leaves a message saying that he is still in Paris at his brother's house.

He gives the phone number. The burglars decide to try the McCalister's

house again that night. Harry plays with the children's toys, and stares up

into a kaleidoscope.

[This creates enmity for the burglars because of their invasion of

privacy.]

INT: PHARMACY: DAY

Kevin has picked out a toothbrush and asks a woman clerk if it is American

Dental Association approved. The clerk doesn't know, and asks another

clerk, Herb. The doorbell rings, and the old man wearing rubber boots,

enters the store. he places his bloodied bandaged hand on the counter.

Kevin becomes afraid as the old man stares down at him. Kevin, with

toothbrush in hand, backs away from him.

"Honey, you pay for that toothbrush here," says the female clerk.

Kevin continues to walk towards the door. "Wait, son, you have to pay for

that toothbrush. Son, hey!" Kevin runs out of the store.

"Jimmy, stop that boy," shouts the clerk.

EXT: PHARMACY: DAY

Kevin runs out of the store with a young clerk chasing after him. The clerk

sees a policeman across the street and shouts, "SHOPLIFTER."

[Kevin is in jeopardy because of a misunderstanding.]

Kevin is startled. he runs from the policeman who chases after him through

the park and across the ice pond. Kevin slides on his knees between skaters

and under the legs of a skater. The policeman runs into a hockey player,

who knocks him onto the ground. Kevin makes his escape.

EXT: RAILROAD BRIDGE: DAY

Kevin runs across the bridge over the train tracks while a passing train

moves along the tracks.

EXT: STREET: DAY

Kevin, with toothbrush in hand, walks alone down the sidewalk. "I'm a

criminal," says Kevin.

INT: MURPHY'S HOUSE: DAY

Marv, one of the real criminals, stuffs cloth into a sink drain, then turns

on the water. He laughs with glee at the wanton destruction that he is

about to wreak.

EXT: MURPHY'S HOUSE: DAY

Marv exits from the back of the house with a VCR under his arm and a sack

over his shoulder. He throws the objects into the van.

"What's so funny?" asks Harry. "What's so funny? What are you laughing at?

You did it again. You left the water running."

"Yep," says Marv.

"Why do you do that. I told you not to do it."

"Harry, it's our calling card. All the great one's leave their mark.

We're the Wet Bandits," says Marv.

"You're sick, you know that. Really sick."

Harry drives down the driveway as he continues to argue with Marv. He

almost runs into Kevin who is walking down the street. Harry slams on the

brakes. Kevin screams. The van stops inches in front of his face. Harry

rolls down the window.

"Hey, you got to watch out for the traffic," says Harry, showing off his

teeth.

"Sorry," says Kevin.

"Santa don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy," says Marv.

"Okay, okay. Merry Christmas," says harry. He smiles and his gold tooth

sparkles. Kevin recognizes his tooth from the night Harry was in his house

disguised as a policeman.

Kevin turns and walks away. Harry has noticed his reaction.

"What's the matter?" asks Marv.

"I don't like the way that kid looked at me. You see that?"

"Ever see him before?"

"I saw a hundred kids this week."

"Let's see what house he goes into."

The van slowly follows Kevin down the street. Kevin notices that he is

being followed, and starts to run. The van picks up speed.

EXT: CHURCH: DAY

The van slowly drives by a church. In front of the church is a Christmas

manger decoration. The burglars have lost sight of Kevin. They get nervous

in front of the church, and decide to drive away. After they have gone,

Kevin reveals himself disguised as one of the characters in the manger.

Kevin runs to his house,

"When those guys come back, I'll be ready for them."

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: NIGHT

The burglar's van pulls up in front of the house. Harry and Marv see

silhouette's of people moving inside the house. They seem to be dancing to

the music of "ROCKINGAROUNDTHE CHRISTMAS TREE".

"Did they come back?" asks Marv.

"Paris?" responds Harry.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: NIGHT

Kevin has rigged up dummies with pulleys. He manipulates there movements by

pulling on ropes as he dances to the music. The record player turns one

mannequin around in circles. A toy train moves a cardboard cutout of a

basketball player around the railroad tracks.

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: NIGHT

Harry and Marv continue to watch from the van.

"We'll come back tomorrow," says Harry. "We better get out of here before

someone sees us."

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: NIGHT

Kevin smiles triumphantly as he watches them leave. he has successfully

protected his home.

[ END OF THE FIRST ACT?? The second time Kevin has protected his home. How

is this different from when he turned on the basement lights? ]

EXT: PARIS STREETS: NIGHT

Cars move through the traffic.

INT: ROB'S APARTMENT: NIGHT

The movie, "ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE", is playing on the T.V. with the dialogue

being spoken in French. Uncle Frank walks into the room carrying a tray of

appetizers. Rob's wife tells him that those are supposed to be eaten later,

but he ignores her and serves them to the kids. Peter is on the telephone

trying to speak to the operator in French. Buzz and one of his sisters are

discussing Kevin. She is concerned that he has been left alone, while Buzz

thinks that he deserves it. He also believes that Kevin will be okay

because, they "live on the most boring street in America. Nothing even

remotely dangerous will happen. Period."

[This is humorous because it is a complete misunderstanding of the gravity

of Kevin's situation. ]

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

The pizza delivery boy drives up to Kevin's house and runs into the metal

lawn boy again.

[Repetition of self-defeating behavior generates laughter.]

He picks up the lawn boy, then goes to the front door where he finds a not

directing him to the back door. He carries the pizza box to the back, then

knocks on the door.

INT: KITCHEN: DAY

Kevin plays the gangster videotape in response to the pizza boy's comments.

...... Okay, but what about the money?"

"What money?

"$11.80 for pizza."

Kevin puts $12.00 through the door opening. the money falls on the pizza

box.

"Keep the change you filthy animal"

"Cheapskate," says the pizza boy.

"I'm going to give you to the count of ten to get off my property, then

I'll pump your guts full of lead. one, two ... ten."

The sound of machine gunfire comes from the VCR. The pizza boy runs

backwards and slips in the snow. he falls to the ground, gets up, then runs

for his life. he jumps into the car, spins his tires, then quickly speeds

away.

Kevin opens the door and picks up the pizza box. "A lovely cheese pizza,

just for me."

INT: PARIS AIRPORT TERMINAL: DAY

Kay is bargaining with another woman for a seat on the plane.

"$500, a pocket calculator, two first class seats..." says Kay.

"Is that a real Rolex?"

"Do you think it is?"

'No.

"But who can tell? I also have a ring."

"That is beautiful."

The woman's husband comes for her. He tells her that the plane is boarding.

"I'm desperate. I'm begging ... from a mother to a mother ... please!"

The woman stares up at her husband.

"Oh, all right."

EXT: AIRPORT: DAY

The plane takes off.

INT: PARENRS BEDROOM: NIGHT

Johnny Carson is on the TV. Kevin sits in his parents bed. He takes the

family photo out from under the pillow. The photo has a blue background.

"I didn't mean it. If you come back, I'll never be a pain in the butt

again. I promise. Goodnight."

Kevin kisses the picture, then places it under his pillow. He shuts off the

light and goes under the covers.

INT: BATHROOM: DAY

Kevin combs his hair and mimics Frank Sinatra as he sings into the comb. He

sprays underarm deodorant, then splashes BRUT33 onto his face. He screams

from the stinging pain.

[Humor generated by repetition. This is a form of stupidity. We know that

Kevin is not seriously damaged. ]

The tarantula walks along the bathroom floor.

[ This adds jeopardy to the situation.]

INT: SUPERMARKET: DAY

Kevin pushes a cart down the aisle. He grabs a container of milk.

INT: CHECKOUT COUNTER: DAY

A young female clerk watches him suspiciously as Kevin pushes forward a

cart filled with groceries. They make small talk, then she asks for $19.83.

"Are you here all by yourself?"

"Maine, I'm eight years old. Do you think I'd be here alone. I don't think

so?"

"Where's your mom?"

"My mom's in the car."

"Where's your father?"

"He's at work."

"What about your brothers and your sisters."

"I'm the only child."

"Where do you live?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not?" asks the clerk.

"Because you're a stranger," answers Kevin. He then turns away.

EXT: SIDEWALK: DAY

Kevin walks down the sidewalk carrying two plastic bags filled with

groceries. They both break and all the food falls to the ground.

INT: LAUNDRY ROOM: DAY

Kevin puts detergent into the machine. he turns on the washer, takes the

clothes out of the dryer, then places them into a basket. Kevin imagines

hearing a mocking laughter coming from the furnace. The furnace lights up.

Red flames flicker against the black iron.

"Hello, Kevin," says a deep threatening voice.

"Shut up," says Kevin with an annoyed tone.

The furnace shuts down.

[Kevin has overcome his fears. He's becoming self-sufficient.]

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

The burglars are in the van, which has written on its side: "O-KAY PLUMBING

& HEATING"

"Looks like nobody's home. I don't get it. Last night the place is jumping.

Something ain't right.

Go check it out," says Harry.

"Now?" asks Marv. He gets out of the van.

INT: KITCHEN: DAY

Kevin is washing dishes as Marv walks up to the door. Marv puts his foot

through the opening in the door. His shoe falls off. Marv's hand comes

through and picks up the shoe. Kevin grabs the remote control and activates

the gangster tape in the VCR.

"Get the hell out of here," says the gangster's voice.

Marv freezes as he listens to the voices on the tape.

Kevin places a red pot on the floor near the door. He fills it with

firecrackers, then lights them. They explode as machine gun noise goes off

on the TV.

Marv dives into the garbage cans. He gets up then runs back to the van.

"Keep the change, you filthy animal." Kevin mimics this voice.

INT:VAN:DAY

"What happened?" asks Harry.

"Somebody just got blown away," replies Marv

"I know I heard that name 'snakes' before," says Marv

. "Snakes ... I don't know no snakes," says Harry.

"Let's get out of here," says Marv

"Let's wait and see who it is. We work this neighborhood, too. Suppose the

cops finger us for a job, and they start asking us questions about a murder

in the area. Won't it be nice to have a face to go with their questions?"

"That's a good idea," says Marv.

"Of course it's a good idea."

"Snakes?"

"He sounded like a snake?" says Harry.

EXT: AIRPORT: DAY

A plane lands.

INT: AIRPORT: DAY

Airline clerk tells Kay that everything is booked. She wants to get to

Chicago, but nothing is available because it is Christmas Eve. John candy,

the leader of a polka band, overhears Kay's conversation with the airline

attendant and offers to help. He's Gus Bolinsky, Polka King of the Midwest.

Kinosha Kickers. His hits were "Polka, polka, polka", "Kiss me Polka."

"Sold 620 copies," says Gus.

"Chicago?" asks Kay.

"Shaboggan," answers Gus.

Gus is renting a van to drive his band to Milwaukee, and offers to drive

Kay to Chicago. She accepts.

EXT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

The burglar's van is in the driveway. Marv and Harry are asleep in the van.

Kevin comes out of the back of the house. He is carrying a saw and ladder.

He uses these to cut down a Christmas tree. Marv and Harry watch.

"I think we got scammed by a kindergarten."

Kevin pulls the tree back into the house.

INT: KEVIN'S HOUSE: DAY

Kevin decorates his Christmas tree. Harry watches him through the window.

Kevin sees Harry's reflection in a Christmas bulb.

"Dad, can you come here and help me?" Kevin says as he walks away from the

tree.

"Remember that kid we saw the other day," Harry says to Marv.

"He lives here."

"If the kid's here, the parents gotta be too."

"He's home alone."

"You want to come back tonight?"

"Huh, huh."

"Even with the kid here?"

"Huh, huh."

"I don't think that's a good idea," says Marv.

"Look, that houses is the only reason we started working this block in the

first place. Ever since I laid eyes on that house, I wanted it."

[ Greed is the motivation, but the stupidity of the intention is expressed

by Marv. This makes the situation more plausible to the audience. ]

Kevin opens the upstairs window and listens to the conversation of the two

burglars. They plan to unload the van, get a bite to eat, then return about

9:00.

"Good, kids are afraid of the dark," says Marv.

"You're afraid of the dark too," says Harry.

"Not ... not, not, not!"

They walk away.

"Mom, where are you," says Kevin.

EXT: ROAD: NIGHT

A Budget Rent A Truck drives down the street. Polka music comes out of the

truck. The members of the band, all wearing yellow jackets, play polka

music as they sit in the back of the truck. Gus tr